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"I said I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist!"
Tags:astrologist, astrologists, astrology, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, stargazer, stargazers, star-gazer, star-gazers, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, pseudoscience, pseudosciences, pet peeve, pet peeves, hobby, job title, job titles, con, cons, scientist, scientists, psychic, psychics, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune, fortunes, horoscope, horoscopes
"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, horoscope, horoscopes, zodiac, zodiac, astrology, star sign, star signs, western astrology, animal, animals, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, personification, bull, bulls, fish, ram, rams, crab, crabs, lion, lions, taurus, aeries, leo, pieces, cancer, relationship, relationships, dating, date, dates, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, compatibility
"My birthday is actually in September, but I've always identified as an Aries."
'I told you I refuse to be born today. I don't want to be Aries.'
"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"
"My client pleads not guilty on the grounds that Saturn was transiting his natal Pluto at the time of the incident."
"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"
"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."
"All mine says is that I often give in to feelings of envy and that I should appreciate what I have. But your horoscope is better."
'A lot of rubbish. We Leos aren't that easily fooled.'
'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'
'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'
'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'
"What's your sign?"
'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'
'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'
'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'
It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.
'Hey, don't tell me - you're a capricorn?'
"I always start the day by reading my horror scope."
'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'
'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'
'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'
'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'
'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'