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"I said I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist!"
Tags:astrologist, astrologists, astrology, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, stargazer, stargazers, star-gazer, star-gazers, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, pseudoscience, pseudosciences, pet peeve, pet peeves, hobby, job title, job titles, con, cons, scientist, scientists, psychic, psychics, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune, fortunes, horoscope, horoscopes
'I told you I refuse to be born today. I don't want to be Aries.'
"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"
"My client pleads not guilty on the grounds that Saturn was transiting his natal Pluto at the time of the incident."
"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."
"All mine says is that I often give in to feelings of envy and that I should appreciate what I have. But your horoscope is better."
"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"
"What's your sign?"
'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'
'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'
"I always start the day by reading my horror scope."
'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'
Man wearing 'Taurus' shirt walks into china shop
"We'll run some tests: lipoprotein, electrophoresis, SGOT, antibody titration,...oh, oh. I see you're a virgo."
Tags:doctor, patient, medical tests, zodiac, sign, virgo, superstitions, medical test, medical tests, checkup, check up, checkups, check ups, check-up, check-ups, doctors, patients, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, star-sign, star-signs, quack, quacks, medical record, medical records, superstition
"I forgot to ask you - what's your sign?"
"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "
Tags:astrology, astrologist, astrologists, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, star-sign, star-signs, horoscope, horoscopes, santa, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, festive period, superstition, superstitions, superstitious, christmas eve, xmas eve
"No....wait! Let me guess...you're....Metrosexual!"
'Mmm... Thought so...Sagittarius right?'
'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'
'Sorry, Marvin, we can never work out. I'm a Pisces, and you're a geek.'
'And what star sign are you?'
"So, what is your star sign?"
'Well, the future sounds bleak for me - what about Lady Macbeth, she's a Virgo?'
"Symmetry? No - I'm actually a Virgo."
Tags:weights, weight training, weight lifting, weight lifter, weight lifters, weight-lifter, weight-lifters, bodybuilder, bodybuilders, workout, work out, work outs, work-out, work-outs, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, star-sign, star-signs, bodybuilding, fitness, health, gym, sports, conditioning, workouts, astrology, astrologer, astrologers, virgo, virgos
'Are you sure that's right, only we Sagittarians aren't usually that ambitious.'