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"So, we are all agreed, gentlemen. There shouldn't be that many of those, and that's a funny colour."
"I said, was it Manet or Monet who had syphilis?"
Tags:syphilis, stds, sexual transmitted disease, sexually transmitted diseases, monet, claude monet, oscar-claude monet, Édouard manet, art history, art historian, art historians, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibitions, faux pas, embarrassing, embarrassment, embarrassments, hearing problem, hearing problems, deaf, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, pensioner, pensioners
'You've got it. Don't flaunt it. You'll spread it.'
"I'm looking for a card that says 'Sorry about the herpes.'"
'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'
'I know you're having a virtual affair - the computer's got a sexually transmitted virus'
"Trust me, if they were her peas, you'd know it!"
"Whatta ya mean? 'The Swing Time Demons' is a great name for a band..."
"Listen. If we're going to be doing any serious pawing around, I want you to start wearing a flea collar."
'I'm warning you guys -- I've got herpes!'
"I suppose it was very sweet and old-fashioned of him, but, still, it was syphilis."
"Yes, I realize that we are free agents, but I have to take on the additional risk of pregnancy and am more susceptible to certain sexually transmitted diseases, so I think you should pay for the movie."
"I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought you should know I have termites."
Tags:date, dates, dating, stds, sexually transmitted diseases, girlfriends, ex, exes, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, sti, stis, sexually transmitted infections, notify, notifies, notifying, former partner, former partners, puppet, puppets, contagious, test, tests, testing, tested, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, termite, termites, wooden, wood
"Well, your STD panel came back... turns out what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas."
Tags:stds, sti, stis, virus, viruses, infection, infections, disease, diseases, vd, clinic, clinics, clinical, test, tests, testing, vegas, las vegas, medical, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, diagnosis, checkup, physician, physicians, bacteria, bacterial, test, checkup, check-up, doctor, nurse, las vegas
'Do you scan them for viruses?'
"Oh no! The kids have been making condoms again."
"It's VD-Day. Shall we engage in the traditional exchange of venereal disease?"
'Be careful what you wish for! I once wished for whiskey and women and guess what I got - Hepatic cirrhosis and syphilis!'
"C'mon, baby. No. You know it's not as good when I wear it."
"I must have gotten it from the internet."
"Sorry, the GSOH in my ad stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."
'Are you sure you didn't bring back any souvenirs of Bognor?'
'We call him 'Herpes' because he won't heal!'