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"So, we are all agreed, gentlemen. There shouldn't be that many of those, and that's a funny colour."
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"I'm looking for a card that says 'Sorry about the herpes.'"
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"You have to contact everyone you've slept with and tell them they may have fleas."
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"Trust me, if they were her peas, you'd know it!"
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"Watch yourself, dude. I hear she has salmonella."
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"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."
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'Just between you and me, do you really cause warts?'
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"I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought you should know I have termites."
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"Well, your STD panel came back... turns out what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas."
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"When I go traveling, what can I take to prevent aids?"
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'I'll need a list of your diplomatic relations.'
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"I think I should tell you, I once went viral."
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"That bitch gave me fleas!"
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"I brought protection."
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Pinocchio on a date: "Before this goes any further, you should know that I've got fungal rot."
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