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Garden of Earthly Delights
Tags:delight, delights, happy, happiness, good news, people, men, women, sharing news, conversation, talking, good things, sale, sales, new puppy, new phone, vacation, vacations, concert ticket, concert tickets, stock portfolio, met someone, modern life, art, painting, paintings, modern version, bosch, garden of earthly delights, hieronymus bosch
'This is going to be very painful. Here, bite on this stick.'
Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith & Mick Jagger
Tags:market, markets, stock market, stock markets, investing, investments, investor, investors, wealth management, wealth managers, financial managers, financial management, financial manager, stock, stocks, stock market, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, securities, businessmen, businessman, retirement, retire, retired, pension, pensioner, 401(k), mick jagger, rolling stones, classic rock, rock star, rock stars
'Your portfolio is down and your blood pressure is up.'
'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio'
'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'
'The downside of investing in this stock is it might go down. The upside is it might go up.'
'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'
"That stock needs to show more interest before I can show it more interest."
Tags:invest, invests, investing, investment, investments, stock, stocks, stock broker, stock brokers, investment firm, investment firms, interest, portfolio, portfolios, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, attention, interesting, interests, interested, flatline, flatlined, flatlines, flat line, flat lines, flat lined, return, returns
'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'
'Can he call you back? He's viewing his favourite internet site.'
A homeless man stands next to a sign that says 'Didn't diversify'."
Tags:diversify, diversifying, portfolio, portfolios, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, investment, investments, stock market, stocks and bonds, financial advisor, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisors, balanced portfolio, didn't diversify, bum, losing money, market fluctuations, wall street, business, consequence, consequences
"Do we have a place for your portfolio's ashes?"
Tags:market, markets, stock market, stock markets, investing, investments, investor, investors, wealth management, wealth managers, financial managers, financial management, financial manager, stock, stocks, stock market, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, securities, retirement, retirement account, market crash, market crashes, stock market crash, stock market crashes, recession, recessions, economic downturn, economic downturns, depression, depressions, financial ruin, financial loss, financial losses, investment portfolio, investment portfolios, bad investment, bad investments
'Of course I'm happy to give you an estimate of our fees, as long as you realise it will be nowhere near how much it will cost you.'
"Unfortunately, I invested heavily in inequities."
'...anything else, sir?'
'Before we discuss the status of your investment portfolio, do either of you have a heart condition?'
"I'm re-balancing my portfolio to 10% bonds, 90% scotch."
Tags:invest, invests, investing, investor, investors, investing, investments, portfolio, market portfolio, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, share, shares, stock, stock market, wall street, stocks and bonds, dow jones, djia, crash, crashes, market crash, market crashes, scotch, alcohol, bar, bars, beverage, beverages, pub, pubs, recession, depression, whiskey, whiskey lover, whiskey lovers
"Thanks for coming at such short notice to discuss your portfolio. I've also taken the liberty of inviting Miss O'Toole...our grief counsellor."
Tags:portfolio, share portfolio, share portfolios, stock, stocks, stock portfolio, stock portfolios, invest, invests, investing, invested, investment, investments, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, financial adviser, financial advisers, grief counsellor, grief counsellors, grief counselling, market, markets, stock market, stock markets
Hold all calls. I'm taking a bath.
'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'
'I completely agree with you, Mrs. Patch. The equities in your portfolio have all the symptoms of an off-again, on-again yeast infection.'
'Should we exchange stock portfolios before deciding who pays for the prenup lawyer?'
'Ah, nothing a 5000 point jump in the Dow Jones average wouldn't help.'
'The worst case of insider trading I've ever seen.'