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"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."
Tags:stock, stock price, stock prices, dow, dow jones, down jones industrial average, djia, investor, investors, stock, stocks, stockmarket, stockmarkets, scary story, scary stories, campfire, campfires, campfire story, campfire stories, hedge fund, hedge funds, storyteller, storytellers, storytelling, frighten, frightens, frightening, spook, spooks, spooky, spookiness, camp, camps, camping, crash, crashes, crashing, market crash, shortsell, short sell, shorting, short selling, correction, market correction, market corrections
'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'
"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"
Tags:marriage, money, trade, opec, oil price, oil prices, volatile, volatility, oil, crude, crude oil, barrel of crude, barrels of crude, stock price, stock prices, marriage proposals, financial stability, financial security, secure future, secure futures, portfolio, portfolios, market portfolio, market portfolios, mankoff
Today stocks fell on news that no one really has a clue why stocks rise and fall.
'But hey, it's only money.'
'Retail,tech,industrials,transportation,and utity stocks are all down. Painkillers are up.'
"Today stocks dropped on the theory that the higher stocks rise, the greater the chances they will fall."
Tags:stock market, stock markets, stocks, stocks and bonds, rise, rises, rising, fall, falls, falling, bear market, bear markets, bull market, bull markets, law of averages, stock price, stock prices, stock drop, stock drops, decline, declines, increase, increases, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockbroker, stockbrokers, panic, panics
Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.
'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'
"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office life, investor, investors, investing, investment, investments, stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock price, stock prices, trader, traders, trading, economy, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, finance, finances, money, up, point, points, foresight, hindsight's 20-20, too late, missed opportunity, missed opportunities, missed chances, missed chance
Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51
"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."
Tags:company, stockholder, stockholders, stockholder meeting, stockholder meetings, company stock, company stocks, stock price, stock prices, corporate takeover, corporate takeovers, corporate buyout, corporate buyouts, corporate culture, buyout, buyouts, takeover, takeovers, summary, summaries, year-end, years end, fiscal year, fiscal years
'So that's why your stock sells at 36,000 times earnings.'
"Seriously? Did no one foresee our stock prices collapsing after Easter?"
'Let's start a rumour that we've all resigned. That should jump our stock up.'
'Say - 'Ardex Mining', thats us - up up 3 7/8 last week.'
'What do you think - good time to buy?'
THe new 'Relaxed Economy' currency . . .
In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.
'Unfortunately it has a short expiration date.'
'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'
Oil Spill Hits Wall St.
'Stocks dropped on news that, in today's economy, more buys less...'