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"The secret to shorting is to be the shorter, not the shorted."
"Blindly following market trends generally works for me, but when it doesn't, I blame computer trading."
"Thank goodness I was getting my share prices confused with my resting heart rate."
The Wall Street Tattler
"The market was down today on fears of fear itself."
"Today treasuries were down on news that bitcoin futures were up."
"Are we responding to the Asian markets or are they responding to us?"
"Oh you know, insider trading and fudging the number before lunch and then some fraud in the afternoon. How was your day?"
"Alright, I'll get you over the Alps, but I want stock options and cash bonus."
In case of falling stocks, break glass (bottle of gin).
'Is that new antacid stock going up Phil?'
'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'
FoodWaterOnline Stock Trading Tips.
"Guru? No! I came up here for social distancing but I do some stock trading on the side."
Investments: Irreverent Stocks For Irreverent Times!