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'And here's Ted with his, always accurate, post-market predictions.'
Bull Riding on the Stock Market
'Good day in the market?'
"I'm looking for a hedge against my hedge funds."
"I love the way you look like you're making money even though you're making no money at all."
Tags:financial advisor, financial adviser, financial advisors, financial advisers, financial advice, investor, investors, investment, investments, bank, banks, saving, savings, investing, investment strategy, investment strategies, money making, profit, profits, looking busy, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, investment banking
'It's his only form of exercise these days...chasing yield.'
A bull does his work with a bear head on the wall.
Tags:bull market, bull markets, bull, bulls, bear, bears, bear market, bear markets, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, upswing, economic, economics, turnaround, turnarounds, good economy, good economies, economic turnaround, healthy economy, healthy economies, stock market, stock markets, dow jones, djia
"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, entering heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, market, markets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, investor, investors, investing, business, businessman, businessmen, investment, investments, bear market, luck, lucky, stock, stocks, trading, money, finances
"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."
Tags:phrase, phrases, famous phrase, famous phrases, bear, bears, sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you, stock market, stock markets, bear market, bear markets, investor, investors, investment, investments, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, bad day, bad days, bad investment, bad investments, investment advice
"Anthony Houserman, I've found, is a fairly reliable barometer of the market."
'Please stop...it reminds me too much of the markets.'
"My stockbroker, my real estate broker and my power broker … all losers!"
"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."
Tags:magic bean, magic beans, revenue, revenues, jack and the beanstalk, value, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, investment, investments, financial, financials, fairytale, fairytales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, fairy story, fairy stories, sales pitch, sales pitches, salesmen, salesman, confidence trick, con, cons, scam, scams
"Oh, I'm really sorry. I just placed three million with some broker who called five minutes ago."
Tags:cold call, cold calls, cold calling, cold caller, cold callers, telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, sarcasm, sarcastic, harass, harasses, harassment, rich, riches, poor, poor person, poor people, poverty, middle class, working class, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors
'I'm not interested in minimum risk. I want long term gains without risk.'
'I have good news and bad news. The problem is, I don't know which is which.'
'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'
Sizzling Bucks: Eavesdrop On America's Lustiest C.E.O.s As They Share Their Fantasies Of Dominance + Humiliation
"The market hit new highs today, while the contrition index remained at zero."
"Oh, fine, thanks. And yourself?"
Tags:business, building, jumper, jumpers, stock market, stock market crash, stockbroker, stockbrokers, market crash, market crashes, ledge, ledges, out on the ledge, polite, manners, good manners, deference, deferential, courteous, businessman, businessmen, greeting, greetings, formal, formality, formalities, pleasantry, pleasantries, mankoff
'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'
"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."
"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."
Tags:business, investor, investors, investing, investment, investments, stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, trading, economy, finance, finances, money, restaurant, restaurants, diner, diners, deli, delis, delicatessen, delicatessens, sandwich shop, sandwich shops, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, news, newspaper, newspapers, up, down, unchanged, sandwich, sandwiches, liverwurst, egg salad, peanut butter, jelly, pbj, wall street, dining, eating, popular, popularity, unpopular, server, servers, lunch, lunches, food
Dow Jones' Greatest Hits
Tags:dow, dow jones, djia, dow jones industrial average, wall street, greatest hit, greatest hits, record high, record highs, bull market, bull markets, bullish, stock, stocks, stock market, stock markets, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing
"Hey, investor fears need calming over here, too."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, barkeep, barkeeps, barkeeper, barkeepers, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, investor, investors, investment, investments, risk, risky, volatile, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, economy, bad economy, economic crisis, recession, finances, financial crisis, money, loan, loans, scared, afraid, fearful, fear, fears, calm, calming, advice, attention, attention-seeking, needy