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Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'
'How come I never see you in church?'
'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'
"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"
'Oh, you know how it is. I'm good for a while, then reward myself with food.'
'Peace on Earth!'
Father Christmas Under Arrest.
'Since we're already here, why don't we save a lot of time, and just buy some gift cards...'
'Shame on you for hogging all the toys and making us beg for some of them.'
Computer is set up to 'Chat with Santa' for children waiting in line.
'Do you make lots of cash being in three shopping centres all at the same time?'
"Shame on you for hogging the toys and making us beg for them!"
Mobster tries to recruit Santa as a hitman.
'HO, HO, HO! Well, Timmy, you've asked for a lot of very expensive toys and I'm not sure if...' 'My parents got to you, didn't they?'
Ralk to Santa: 'Yes, Virginia, there is an honest, consumer-friendly banker, unfortunately, he's a fictional character played by Jimmy Stewart...'
Are you a good little girl or boy If not, REPENT today: 'November and December,,,I'm Santa at Macys,'
'I'm afraid we'll have to get a Santa who can remember his lines'
'Great photo, you're lucky! I've always been too big to sit on Santa's knees...'
What do you want for Christmas?
'I want Billy's mother to get lots of baggy clothes. Her skin-tight stuff is makin' us sick!'
Have You Been Naughty Or Nice?
10 items or less
'I can't trade your brothers for a pony.'