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'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'
'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'
Tags:pregnant, pregnancy, baby, babies, craving, cravings, crave, craved, unnatural, strange, strangle, strangling, strangles, strangled, strangling, choke, choking, chokes, choked, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, husband, husbands, wife, wives, confess, confessing, confessed, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Are you sure this is the way to take blood pressure?'
A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.
Tags:stocking stuffer, stocking stuffers, stocking, stockings, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, unoriginal, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, strangle, strangles, strangling, strangler, stranglers, drive insane, driven insane, cliche, cliches, tie, ties, necktie, neckties, filler, christmas, father, fathers, dad, dads, husband, husbands
"If you don't mind, I'm trying a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."
Tags:doctor, medical, health, injury, dr. dr, s office, doctor's office, blood pressure, medical assistant, medical assistant, nurse, nurse's aid, doctor's aid, extra crispy, health care, health, check up, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctors, new job, new jobs, newbie, newbies, strangle, strangles, strangling, choke, chokes, choking
"Don't look now, but I believe your snake is strangling that dog."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, snake, snakes, snake owner, snake owners, pet snake, walking the dog, dog walking, walkies, leash, leashes, strangle, strangling, confused, mistaken, mistake, mistakes, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neighbors, suburbs, suburbia, strange, weird, unusual
'The restraints are for your own protection, Mr.Norris. We're concerned that if you rung the nurses station once more, they'll strangle you.'
"B.J. has a 'hands-on' management style."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, threatening, threat, threats, violence, violent, strangle, strangling, assault, assaulting, physical, bullying, bully, bullies, workplace bullying, workplace violence, management style, management styles, hands-on, hands on, abuse, abusing, aggressive
'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'
"Relax, I'm simply estimating the amount of wool I need for your jumper."
Tags:jumper, jumpers, sweater, sweaters, knit, knits, knitting, handmade gift, handmade gifts, wool sweater, wool sweaters, estimate, estimates, strangle, strangles, strangling, murder, murders, murdering, kill, kills, killer, killers, suspicion, suspicions, suspicious, wife, wives, husband, husbands
"JB is a great believer in 'hands on' management."
"Save! Save! "
'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, good cop, bad cop, strangle, strangles, strangling, strangled, attack, attacks, attacking, attacked, attacker, attackers, unsuitable, chief, chiefs, mismatch, mismatches, mismatched, mismatching, throttle, throttles, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Death by Isobath
Tags:isobath, isobaths, weather map, weather maps, weather-map, weather-maps, weather forecast, weather forecasts, weather forecast, weather forecasts, forecast, forecasts, weather prediction, weather predictions, meteorology, meteorologists, meteorology, strangulation, strangulations, strangling, weather pattern, weather patterns, weather science, weather scientist, weather scientists
Ultimate sibling rivalry.
Tags:sibling, siblings, brother, brothers, sister, sisters, fight, fights, fighting, fighter, fighters, wrestle, wrestles, wrestling, wrestler, wrestlers, rival, rivals, rivalry, rivalries, foe, foes, strangle, strangles, strangling, strangled, ufc, ultimate fighting championship, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.
"That's fine, just take out the part where the chief executive had me by the throat."
Woman with sore throat.
Why the Nazis are too stupid to even walk the dog...
'Tony, what do you do with all this piano wire?'
'Where you will be hanged until 'deadish'.'
'It's definitely a 'hands-on' style of leadership.'