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"I don't know why, but suddenly New Jersey looks very appealing."
"When did the Fergusons start hydrofracking?"
"This happy breed of men, this little world, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this east end of Long Island!"
"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."
Tags:bed bath and beyond, store, stores, consumer, consumers, consumerism, suburb, suburbs, suburban life, suburban lives, suburban lifestyle, suburban lifestyles, bald, balds, balding, middle age, middle aged, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, alliteration, alliterative, alliterate, alliterates, alliterating, bunion, bunions
"We thought a soulless, desolate community would be good for the kids."
Tags:neighborhood, neighborhoods, neighbourhood, neighbourhoods, raise children, raises children, raising children, good neighborhood, good neighbourhood, community, communities, housing tract, housing tracts, suburb, suburbs, suburban life, desolate, culture, devoid of culture, uncultured, priority, priorities, parent, parents, parenting, upscale, family, families, raise a family, raising a family
Safari Clothes: "For People Who Aren't Going Anywhere"
Tags:safari, safari clothes, safari clothing, adventure, adventures, action, middle age, middle aged, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, suburb, suburbs, suburban life, tracker, trackers, fearless, fearlessness, errand, errends, chore, chores, go out, goes out, going out, dress-up, playing dress-up, fantasy, fantasies
Police Log from Suburbia Heights in Haiku Form
Orpheus And Eurydice In Connecticut
Tags:orpheus, eurydice, myth, myths, mythology, mythologies, tale of orpheus, underworld, underworlds, new yorker, new yorkers, new york, new york city, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, holidaying, vacationing, resort, resorts, don't look back, look back, looking back, suburb, suburbs, move, moves, moving, move away, moving away, social status, social statuses
Frosty, The Abominable Snowman
The Hopelessly Middle-Class Jamesons Live Here.
"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."
"The surprising thing is that Flaubert, who was a man, actually got it."
Tags:madame bovary, flaubert, gustave flaubert, banal, banality, escape, escapes, escaping, provincial, provincial life, mundane, mundanity, suburb, suburbs, suburban, unhappy, dissatisfied, housewife, housewives, affair, emma roualt, charles bovary, dissatisfied, dissatisfaction, inattentive husband, inattentive husbands, spouse, spouses, affairs, cheat, cheats, cheating, cheating, adultery, adulterer, adulterers
"I take it this means the barbeque is ready."
Tags:barbecue, barbecues, barbeque, barbeques, gender issues, bbq, bbqs, middle age, middle aged, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis, suburban life, suburb, suburbs, suburbia, middle class, middle classes, hyper masculine, hyper masculinity, toxic masculinity, loin cloth, loin cloths, neanderthal, neanderthals, cave men, cave man, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, ancient history, stone age, the stone age, early man, primitive man
"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."
"I do ballet, conservation, starvation, cancer research, the needy, a little art, and a smidgen for Farmington."
"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."
Tags:suv, suvs, oversize, oversized, oversize vehicle, oversized vehicles, offroad, off-road, van, vans, minivan, minivans, car, cars, car salesman, car salesmen, car buyer, car buyers, suburb, suburbs, suburban, trend, trends, trendy, unnecessary, dealer, dealers, car dealer, car dealers, auto dealer, auto dealers, waste, wasteful, fuel efficiency, inefficient, gas, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, pollute, pollutes, polluting, pollution
"Tell you the truth - I ain't feelin' all that Hitchcockian."
The Great Drywall of Sheboygan.
All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988
road sign: "Gilkers Corners Population 926
Tags:small town, town, towns, village, villages, rural, countryside, suburb, suburbs, welcome sign, welcome signs, sign, signs, road sign, road signs, population, small populations, no credit cards accepted, cash only, modern life, old school, hometown, hometowns, traditional, stuck in the past, living in the past
Tags:suburb, suburbs, suburban, suburban life, underwater, sea level, sea levels, sea level rise, ocean level, ocean levels, rise, rises, rising, global warming, environmental disaster, environmental catastrophe, catastrophe, catastrophes, everyday life, pollute, pollutes, polluting, polluter, polluters, greenhouse gas, greenhouse gases, greenhouse gasses, greenhouse effect, iceberg, icebergs, melt, melts, melting
"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"
Tags:kid, kids, child, childhood, invisible fence, invisible fences, imaginary friend, imaginary friends, electric shock, electric shocks, smoke, wisp of smoke, imaginary playmate, imaginary playmates, properties, suburb, suburbs, suburbia, fence, fences, pet fence, pet fences, fenceless boundary, fenceless boundaries
Skimming out star reflections
"Do you ever miss New York?"
When in Rome...
Tags:suburbs, suburb, suburban, etiquette, housewives, housewife, folding, napkin, napkins, when in rome do as the romans do, when in rome, boring, bored, infuriating, infuriates, posh, fancy, pretentious, pretentiousness, comic strip, comic strips, comic-strip, comic-strips, dinner parties, dinner, manner, manners, job, jobs, occupation, busy, hobby, hobbies, middle class, middle-class