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Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

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school, schooling, schools, teachers, fraction, sum, sums, maths lesson, maths class, pointless, children, kids, teacher, class, lesson, lessons, education, maths, arithmatic, mathematics, a quarter, fractions, educations, young minds, confusion, learn, learningBack to top

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

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maths, mathematic, mathematics, lesson, lessons, class, classes, teacher, teachers, school, schools, discipline, disciplines, detention, detentions, punishments, sum, sums, mobile, mobiles, regulation, regulations, cell, cells, message, messages, contract, contracts"Maybe it's not a wrong answer - maybe it's just a different answer."

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wrong answer, wrong answers, sum, sums, addition, additions, blackboard, blackboards, math, maths, mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, class, classes, classroom, classrooms, answer, answers, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, debate, debates, smart alec, smart alecs, smart aleck, smart alecks, right answer, right answers, educator, educators, school, schools, schooling"Who dealt this mess?"

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dealer, dealers, sum, sums, math, maths, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematics, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, class, classes, schooling, pupil, pupils, student, students, classroom, arithmetic, addition, primary school, kindergarten, times table, times tables, times-table, times-tables, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods'This would be a lot easier, Miss Reed, if you didn't require such pinpoint accuracy.'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematics'My class can't wait to start multiplication. I made them sign a pledge never to use it for evil purposes.'

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'Could I have some computer time to troubleshoot this problem?'

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education, classrooms, lesson, lessons, troubleshooting, maths, mathematician, mathematicians, teach, blackboard, answer, sum, sums, classroom, students, student, pupils, pupil, teacher, teachers, arithmetic, math, mathematics, troubleshoot, computer, technologyBack to top

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'Every week a sum of money the size of this rainforest disappears to service the UK's national debt.'

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monkey, monkeys, ape, apes, jungle, jungles, rainforest, rainforests, newspaper, newspapers, news, sum, sums, money, finance, financial, uk debt, uk national debt, national debt, national debts, recession, recessions, economic crisisBack to top

"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"

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nhs, national health service, math, maths, mathematics, target, target setting, budget, figures, accounting, sum, sums, count, counts, counting, numbers, hospital funding, doh, targets, budgets, overspend, nhs cisis, funding, crisis, funding crisisLady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

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mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaningBack to top

Math books are a fraction of their cost

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schooling, maths, sum, sums, maths book, school, schools, math, mathematics, retail, bookstore, bookstores, academics, fractions, textbooks, algebra, money, sales strategies, sales strategy, deception, fraud, deceit, deceitfulness, trickery, slyness, chicaneryBack to top

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts and labor."

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car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, driver, drivers, driving, garage, garages, workshop, workshops, service station, service stations, repair, repairs, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, car repairs, vehicle repairs, transportation, bill, bills, billing, money, paying, parts, labour, labor, total, totals, sum, sums, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, expression, expressions, cliche, cliches, wordplay, word play, play on words"I know how to divide, but want to learn how to divide and conquer."

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video game, video games, computer game, computer games, divide, division, sum, sums, divide and conquer, transferable skills, kid, kids, school, schools, schooling, pupil, pupils, school children, school kids, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, subject, subjects, deriving, math'I think I'm getting the hang of this algebra; your relationship with Dad, for example, would be a + b = 0.'

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math, maths, mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, formulas, sum, sums, algebra, algebraic, formula, child, kid, kids, equation, equations, schools, son, school, schooling, teacher, teaching, learning, relationship, relationships, parent, parents, parenting, marital problemsI think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

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accountancy, accountants, accountant, numbers, budget, management, managers, figures, figure, number, number crunching, sums, sumBack to top

'What is a fifth part of a foot?'

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toe, toes, feet, foot, unit, units, imperial system, maths, mathematics, maths lesson, maths class, maths lessons, maths classes, teacher, teachers, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, division, sum, sums, arithmetic, fraction, fractions, divide, divisions, divides, dividing