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Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

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school, schooling, schools, teachers, fraction, sum, sums, maths lesson, maths class, pointless, children, kids, teacher, class, lesson, lessons, education, maths, arithmatic, mathematics, a quarter, fractions, educations, young minds, confusion, learn, learningBack to top

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

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maths, mathematic, mathematics, lesson, lessons, class, classes, teacher, teachers, school, schools, discipline, disciplines, detention, detentions, punishments, sum, sums, mobile, mobiles, regulation, regulations, cell, cells, message, messages, contract, contracts"Maybe it's not a wrong answer - maybe it's just a different answer."

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wrong answer, wrong answers, sum, sums, addition, additions, blackboard, blackboards, math, maths, mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, class, classes, classroom, classrooms, answer, answers, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, debate, debates, smart alec, smart alecs, smart aleck, smart alecks, right answer, right answers, educator, educators, school, schools, schooling"Who dealt this mess?"

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dealer, dealers, sum, sums, math, maths, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematics, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, class, classes, schooling, pupil, pupils, student, students, classroom, arithmetic, addition, primary school, kindergarten, times table, times tables, times-table, times-tables, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods'This would be a lot easier, Miss Reed, if you didn't require such pinpoint accuracy.'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematicsBack to top

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

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accountancy, accountants, accountant, numbers, budget, management, managers, office, figures, figure, number, number crunching, sums, audit, careers, career, acting, actor, finance, accountancy, writer, writers, auditing, audit, pension, pensions, careers, career choice'My class can't wait to start multiplication. I made them sign a pledge never to use it for evil purposes.'

"You're warm now, Alec - very, very warm."

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education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, lesson, lessons, kid, kids, child, children, math, maths, mathematics, arithmetic, addition, sums, doing sums, adding, close, warm, correct answer, correct answers, right answer, right answers, almost there, trying, encouragement, good try, bad at math, bad at mathsBack to top

'Could I have some computer time to troubleshoot this problem?'

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education, classrooms, lesson, lessons, troubleshooting, maths, mathematician, mathematicians, teach, blackboard, answer, sum, sums, classroom, students, student, pupils, pupil, teacher, teachers, arithmetic, math, mathematics, troubleshoot, computer, technology'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

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budget, budgeting, figures, maths, sums, inland revenue, tax, taxes, taxation, treasury, training, taxing, irs, internal revenue, inland revenueAnd this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

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accountancy, accountants, accountant, numbers, budget, management, managers, first love, figures, figure, number, number crunching, sums, numbers, profit, profits, profit and loss, singer, singers, careers, career, acting, actor, finance, accountancy, accountant, music, musicianBack to top

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'Every week a sum of money the size of this rainforest disappears to service the UK's national debt.'

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monkey, monkeys, ape, apes, jungle, jungles, rainforest, rainforests, newspaper, newspapers, news, sum, sums, money, finance, financial, uk debt, uk national debt, national debt, national debts, recession, recessions, economic crisisBack to top

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"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"

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nhs, national health service, math, maths, mathematics, target, target setting, budget, figures, accounting, sum, sums, count, counts, counting, numbers, hospital funding, doh, targets, budgets, overspend, nhs cisis, funding, crisis, funding crisisLady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

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mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaningBack to top

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Math books are a fraction of their cost

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schooling, maths, sum, sums, maths book, school, schools, math, mathematics, retail, bookstore, bookstores, academics, fractions, textbooks, algebra, money, sales strategies, sales strategy, deception, fraud, deceit, deceitfulness, trickery, slyness, chicanery