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Tags:day of rest, days of rest, sabbath, atone, atones, atonement, casual dress, casual dresses, dressing, sermon, sermons, sunday, sunday mass, sunday masses, sunday service, sunday services, services, church, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, hawaiian print, congregation, congregations, seventh day, day of rest, days of rest, casual dress, casual wear
Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"
"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."
Tags:pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, preparation, preparations, prepare, prepares, preparing, dawdling, dawdle, dawdles, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastination, disturbance, disturbances, service, sunday service, sunday's service, tic-tac-toe, mindless game, mindless games, doodle, doodles, doodling
"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."
Tags:church, churches, church service, church services, mass, masses, service, priest, priests, vicar, vicars, pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, christianity, christian, christians, sunday service, sinner, sinners, damned, damnation, positive, positivity, bubbly personality, overly friendly, overy positive, fake praise
'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'
"How's my praying?"
"And now The Reverend Higgins will beat the love of God into each and every one of you."
Tags:priest, priests, vicar, vicars, holy man, holy men, church, churches, church service, mass, church mass, worship, worshiper, worshipers, reverend, reverends, holy father, pray, prayer, prayers, tough love, rite, rites, ritual, rituals, cant, boxing, boxing gloves, pugilist, pugilism, pugilists, religious rites, religious vows, religious worship, bishop, bishops, archbishop, archbishops, church goer, church goers, sunday service, sunday mass, evensong
"Freshly ground pepper?"
Tags:wafer, wafers, the host, host, hosts, communion wafer, communion wafers, sacramental bread, altar bread, body of christ, bread, pepper, black pepper, ground pepper, freshly ground pepper, fresh pepper, altar boy, priest, pastor, preacher, clergy person, minister, religion, church helper, altar attendant, altar server, altar girl, church, churches, mass, masses, service, sunday, sunday service, sunday mass, christian, christianity, eucharist, communion, holy communion, modern life
Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.
"What do you think of our new offering buckets Preacher?"
'If God tells you what to say in your sermon, why do you make so many corrections?'
'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'
"And I was most disappointed with last sunday's offertory."
"If you're generous when the collection plate is passed around, I'll make my sermon ten minutes shorter than usual."
Tags:church, churches, sermons, vicars, priests, minister, ministers, priests, clergies, congregations, collection plates, offering plate, offering plates, bribe, bribes, bribery, bribing, sermon, vicar, priest, clergy, congregation, collection plate, offertory, service, mass, religion, sunday service, church service, church services
Church of the Holy Shit.
Now with reclining pews.
Sunday service 9:00am - Collections 9:10am, 9:20am, 9:30am, 9:40am and 9:50am.
'I know you had a bad week, Dear, but you don't have to go through the communion line twice.'
'Not bad - a bit preachy.'
Chapel for sale - full service history.
Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.
'I didn't know you had to PAY to come to church?'
'I got 50p - how much did you get?'
'I think I know who's been tapping the sunday collection.'