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Tags:day of rest, days of rest, sabbath, atone, atones, atonement, casual dress, casual dresses, dressing, sermon, sermons, sunday, sunday mass, sunday masses, sunday service, sunday services, services, church, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, hawaiian print, congregation, congregations, seventh day, day of rest, days of rest, casual dress, casual wear
Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"
'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'
"What do you think of our new offering buckets Preacher?"
Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.
'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'
'If God tells you what to say in your sermon, why do you make so many corrections?'
Church of the Holy Shit.
Now with reclining pews.
Sunday service 9:00am - Collections 9:10am, 9:20am, 9:30am, 9:40am and 9:50am.
'I know you had a bad week, Dear, but you don't have to go through the communion line twice.'
'Not bad - a bit preachy.'
Chapel for sale - full service history.
Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.
'I didn't know you had to PAY to come to church?'
'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'
"Wow. Scary sermon today."
"Welcome to the Lord's House. Now in high definition."
Tags:church, churches, sunday, sunday service, sunday services, service, services, priest, priests, preach, preaches, preaching, high definition, technology, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, upgraded, screen, screens, develop, develops, developing, development, lord, lords, christian, christians, christianity, new comer, new comers, screen, screens
"He has a great voice for giving sermons but even greater for calling Bingo ... "
"It's so much easier dragging the kids to church in the winter."
"The Pastor requested that no decaf be served. The congregation is nodding off during service."
Tags:coffee, coffees, decaf, decaffeinated, caffeine, sunday service, sunday services, sunday, sundays, congregation, congregations, minister, ministers, priest, priests, preacher, preachers, vicar, vicars, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, boring, boredom, bored, bore, bores, nodding off, sleepy, sleepiness, stimulants, refreshment, refreshments
"Lies need regular reinforcement to be believed. But truths are self-evident... No one needs weekly reminders that water flows downhill."
Tags:jesus freak, jesus freaks, christian, christians, christianity, catholic, catholics, catholicism, church, churches, atheist, atheists, atheism, skeptic, skeptics, skepticism, skeptical, disbeliever, disbelievers, secular, religion, religions, religious, religious people, believe, believer, believers, believing, belief, beliefs, belief system, deity, deities, god, gods, faith, faiths, faithful, dogma, dogmatic, sunday mass, sunday services