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"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"
Tags:ob-gyn, ob-gyns, obstetrician, obstetricians, obstetrician-gynecologists, conceive, conceives, conceiving, conception, fertile, fertility, fertility treatment, fertility treatments, fertility doctor, fertility doctors, troubleshoot, troubleshoots, troubleshooting, tech support, technical support, support line, support lines, fix, fixes, fixing, pregnancy, pregnancies, try for a baby, trying for a baby
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
Tags:automation, automated, big shot, big shots, status, statuses, separate status, separate statuses, complaint, complaints, complaints line, complaints lines, ordinary person, ordinary people, hotline, hotlines, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, preference, preferential treatment, unhelpful, bank, banks, banking, tech support, technical support, big bank, big banking, support line, support liens, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines
"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"
Tags:menu, menus, phone call, phone calls, automated, automation, automated, phone menu, phone menus, robot, robot call, robot caller, robot calling, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, tech support, infuriating, infuriate, infuriates, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, modern life, modern times, help, call for help, calling for help
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes and used in a hilarious mix for our annual office party."
Tags:telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, tech support, technical supporter, it support, information technology, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, phone, phones, phone call, phone calls, record, records, recording, recordings, office party, office parties, christmas party, christmas parties, prank, pranks, pranking, amuse, amuses, amusing, gag reel, gag reels, training purposes, mix, mixes, customer service, customer service center, customer service centers, call center, call centers, call centre, call centres
'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'
'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'
"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."
'I need more tech support.'
"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"
Tags:housing shortage, housing shortages, house, houses, housing, persuasion, tortures, tortured, automated message, automated messages, recording, recordings, automated recording, automated recordings, helpline, helplines, support line, support lines, enhanced interrogation, enhanced interrogation technique, enhanced interrogation techniques
Computer Support Line
Tags:support line, support lines, computer support, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, computer problem, computer problems, computer error, computer errors, technical problem, technical problems, it tech, it techs, it technician, it technicians, computer tech, computer techs, computer technician, computer technicians
"Don't know the answer? Do what I do...speak in a foreign accent until the customer hangs up."
"This is the Tech Support Hotline. I must inform you up front that I do not actually know how to use a computer."
"Well thank you for calling to say something positive. We don't get a lot of that in tech support."
"Welcome to tech support. You have three minutes to rage at me before we put an actual technician on the line."
Tags:tech support, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, it, it services, information technology, it service, frustration, frustrations, rage, rages, enrage, enraged, enrages, raged, technician, technicians, delay, delays, delayed, technical support, technical support line, technical support lines
'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'
"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."
'Please call back after 24 hours on another phone line in case you're still on hold.'
'It's ridiculous we never have enough staff on a Sunday.'
Feeling lonely? Isolated? Call the loneliness helpline...
"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."