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"I take it, General Sedgewick, you're about to propose a surgical strike."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating, surgical, strike, strikes, military, strategy, strategies, military strategy, military strategies, general, generals, officer, officers, meeting, meetings, business, propose, proposal, proposals, surgical strike, surgical strikes, military operation, military operations, wordplay, word play, attack, plan, plans, planning
'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'
To his dismay, Vern's entire surgical team passes out at the sight of blood,
Tags:hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, pass, passes, out, faint, faints, fainting, sight, sights, blood, bloods, bloody, surgical, operation, operations, team, teams, dismay, dismayed, shock, shocks, horror, horrors, incompetent, phobia, phobias, close to home
"There was no large metal object in your rib cage after all. Turns out I was just seeing this old-timey doctor thing on my forehead."
'For an extra $25 we can set the surgical lamps on tanning mode.'
"I'm a doctor-I can add 'ectomy' to any word I choose."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, medical, medicine, patient, patients, dr, jargon, word, words, compound words, ectomy, operation, operations, surgery, surgical, surgeon, surgeons, explain, explaining, language, professional, professionals, -ectomy, surgical, remove, removal, appendectomy
'I've mislaid a scalpel.'
'In case you were wondering why the doctor plays computer games all day. . . He is actually controlling me.'
'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'
'Okay, let's have the thing. You know the thing. That muscley pumpy thing. For Pete's sake, the thing that came in the cooler."'
Tags:surgery, surgical, medical, medicine, heart, transplant, transplants, confused, confusion, unprofessional, doctors, doctor, or, operating room, the thing, whatchamacallit, thingamajig, transplant, momentary, lapse, heart surgeon, heart surgeons, heart surgery, cardiac surgery, cardiac surgeon, cardiac surgeons, absent minded, absent mindedness, forgetful
Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.
"A gastric band is a sophisticated medical procedure...THAT is a tight belt."
'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'
'I think the gastric band was supposed to be in your stomach.'
Tags:gastric band, gastric bypass, obese, obesity, fat, overweight, weight, obesity, epidemic, obese, gastric, weight loss, diet, diets, stop eating, obstacle, obstacles, poor insertion, surgery, surgical, invasive, procedure, procedures, doubt, dubious, silly, sillyness, overeating, overeat, over eater
Cosmetic brain surgery
Smart Bomb Pre-Launch Briefing...
'We don't know what you have or how to cure it - all we can do is bill you.'
'I don't care what your mother always told you. The way to this man's heart isn't through his stomach!'
Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.
Tags:operation, operating theatre, operating theater, operating table, hospital, hospitals, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, surgical, surgical procedure, excalibur, surgeon's knife, under the knife, unexpected occurrence, unlikely event, arthurian myth, arthurian myths, king arthur
'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'
"I don't doubt that there's a totally awesome DIY life hack for this, but right now, why don't we just go with a #7 scalpel?"
Tags:medicine, medicines, surgeon, surgeons, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, surgery, surgical, operation, operating room, or, operating theatre, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, d.i.y., do it yourself, repair, handyman, handymen, tools, tool, home remedy, health, healthcare, health care, wellnes, patient, patient care, life hack, life-hack, patients, medical technology, medical tech, medical technologies
'When I said this drug will wipe you out, I meant money-wise.'
'As you can see, an operation is out of the question due to a blockage here of your credit rating.'
"The amputation went well Mr Jones, but we have one slight hiccup."
Tags:amputations, leg, legs, surgery, surgery, error, surgical, errors, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, accidental, missing leg, missing legs, amputees, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, hospitalization, hospitalized, in hospital, operation, operations, bad news, nurse, bed ward, bed wards, never event, never events
'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'