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"As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy."
Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House
'Thanks to the 'Mail-in Box Top Sweepstakes', enrollment is up.'
'You may all ready be a WEINER'
'Congratulations! You have won a new car in our Super Sweepstakes contest. Please send us the $25,000 processing fee to collect your free prize...'
'Pradeep's in the lead with 326 no replies, 347 hang-ups within three seconds, 576 'Not Interested's and 1837 ***** off's...'
'You may already be a winner in the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!'
"What are the odds? First he wins the lottery and then he gets struck by lightning."
No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes
'Do you really think the possibility you may have won 10 million dollars in some sweepstakes is the best life insurance you should have?'
'It stopped on the fortieth day. I win the pool.'
'Is the divorce pool still open?'
'He's expecting a letter from the dog biscuits sweepstakes.'
'I give it six months max!'
"What are the odds?! First he wins the lottery and then he gets eaten by an alligator!"
"That's right! Publishing Clearing Warehouse and the Angel of Death are here to congratulate YOU, Harry M. Beemis, for winning our 'Good News/Bad News Sweepstakes!'"