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'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'
'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'
'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'
'And did I mention I give an excellent foot massage?'
Another day in the Splenda mines
'You'll have to stop using artificial sweeteners... You have artificial diabetes.'
'Maple syrup? Really? Gosh, all these years I thought this was a mandatory drug screening!'
"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."
"Is that how you really feel or is all that sweetness artificial?"
Sugar and Margarine
'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'
'Can you spare a cup of sugar substitute?'
'Mom! Do we have any artificial sweetener cubes?'
Don't move Gertrude. A little dash of maple syrup will sweeten you up.
'We've given up sugar in tea,coffee and puddings.'
"I suppose I could fake it."
"I don't care what the health officials say - having sugar in my tea does not make me a white extremist."