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"Morrison, Robertson, Hitchcock, Brusiloff, Leggett, Winthrop, and ... Oh, hello Muriel."
"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."
'Thank you for holding - your call is important to us.'
"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."
"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."
Receptionist answering phone: 'Thank you for calling. Please hold until you hang up.'
"If you are having trouble landing please press one..."
'For advice on self-harm, press forward slash. For help with bad language press ****. For anger management press !*!*. For help with cannabis addiction, press hash.'
'Your ape call is important to us - please press 6 for angry natives, 5 for lions, or 4 for a general stampede!'
'I absolutely concur with your opinion: that I am an over scripted, brain dead moron, who is wasting your time!'
'Are you sure this isn't the switchboard at the Ellen show?'
Woman at switch board turns to see a robot come to take her place
"No, this is the department for obfuscation, confusion, prevarication and hindrance..."