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"I first felt truly Jewish when I saw Ozzie and Harriet on television."
"The congregation wants you to know we think you have a very nice speaking voice..."
"We just got a call from the shul down the block. Could we find them a tenth man for a minyan?"
Four Questions of the Seder
Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".
Tags:judaism, jewish, orthodox judaism, orthodox jew, reform judaism, reform jew, reform jews, temple, temples, synagogue, synagogues, relaxed, strict, informal, formal, desert island, desert islands, choice, choices, congregation, congregations, religious politics, religious, religion, shpasik, jtoons
'Wait a minute Rabbi, I thought you said Judaism wasn't all black and white.'
Today's Yom Kippur Service
Tags:yom kippur, rosh hashanah, jew, jews, jewish, holiday, holidays, new year, new years, forgiveness, temple, star of david, judaism, religion, religions, religious, shopping, stereotype, stereotypes, worship, day of atonement, atonement, sins, synagogue, synagogues, holy day, holy days, hebrew, head of the year
"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."
Tags:businessmen, businessman, happy hour, pub, pubs, bar, bars, drinking, alcohol, plan, plans, skipping, friday night, friday nights, shul, shuls, synagogue, synagogues, temple, temples, sport, sports, tennis, clinic, clinics, lesson, lessons, leisure, jewish, judaism, hobby, hobbies, zen, meditation
'It's the only glass we could find!'
Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'
The all night Shavuot learning was as lively as usual.
'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'
'Rabbi, that talk was totally sick! You pwned it man!'
David really shouldn't have skipped Tallis and Tefillin classes.
Competition in the Ladies' Gallery
Skullcap Area and Hard Hat Area.
'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'
'Sigh...more prayers. In the old days, I'd get a nice rack of lamb.'
'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'
'It's not a fancy igloo. It's a synagogue. We're Hasidic Jews.'
'What - it's just in black and white? No pictures? Man, that's boooring!'
Prepare to meet thy maker.