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"By the way, if you're involved in some sort of sex scandal I'd rather find out about it from you than from the media."
'Bloody paparazzi' - 'I know, it's at least 40 minutes since I rang them!'
"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"
'I'm concerned! I've been with the company for five years and never had the opportunity to leak anything to the press.'
'It says: Cursed be they who kiss and tell to the tabloids.'
'Right so we're leading on the disgraceful attention that Big Brother is getting when there are so many more important things happening in the world...that's pages 1,2,3,4,6,and 7...'
"If she does not drown, she is a witch, and her punishment will be tabloid notoriety."
'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'
'Lil' Bo Peep has really let herself go!'
'I never believe anything until it's been officially denied at least twice. . .!'
Execution by Media.
Newspaper headline: Illiteracy at all-time high; Paper boy: 'Read all about it!'
News of the World front page pointing out earth's location in space.
'The press is really beating up on him -- it's a good thing he's illiterate.'
"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."
'I love the tabloids. One surmise fits all.'
"So, how did you end up in the gutter press ?"