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Hollywood Talent: 'Sorry, kid, but there's a dog in China who will bark 'Jingle bells' for a third what we pay you!'
"I blame it on all those talent shows!"
'Aha! You are addicted to American Idol. You have the voting numbers on speed dial.'
Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'
Must I also sing and dance?
'I've written a love song about big dividend - playing stocks.'
Glum buskers look at sign that says: 'BUSKING COMPETITION TODAY: Strictly NO Streets of London.'
'That's what I call a first class delivery!'
Comedian is hook-rescued from angry audience.
"I'm into humiliation - can you direct me to the X Factor auditions?"
'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'
X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.
AD 763. Hopeful entrants in the first Easter Island Idol competition.
'The only spot we could get was opposite American Idol and it died a quick death.'
Michael Ignatieff on CBC
Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?
Eh... thank you Mister eh... Genghis. Quite a novel approach to plate spinning
'Why is it okay to put shock collars on dogs but not American idol contestants?'
'We'd just like to get away from 'American Idol' for a while.'
'In the talent category, Miss District of Columbia will shred paper.'
'African Idol': A bushman is receiving the judge's opinion which is:' Dat was bad . . . it sound nutting like watta buffeelow!'
Cowboy sings on talent show called 'The Tex Factor'.
War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).
"Pop stardom might not be the most realistic of ambitions, Billy. I should know- I was the winner of last year's X Factor."