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"Gimme a break. Being driven out of Ireland was the best thing that ever happened to you."
Tags:saint patrick, st. patrick, irish, ireland, irish immigrant, irish immigrants, america, american, st. patrick's day, st. patricks day, snake, snakes, drove the snakes out of ireland, saint, saints, miracle, miracles, miraculous, immigrant, immigrants, immigrant story, immigrant stories, tale, tales, story, stories
"What have you been up to?"
Tags:tall tale, tall tales, long story, long stories, tale, tales, story, stories, come home late, coming home late, wife, wives, scold, scolds, scolding, nag, nags, nagging, return home, returning home, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, police line, police lines, husband, husbands, late night, late nights, late, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality
'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'
The Prince handed Cinderella a glass slipper. She stuffed it with tissues and said 'It fits perfectly'. They married and lived happily ever after.
Tales of Atlantic City
Night after night she stares at the lovely sea longing for her husband's departure.
Tags:ghost story, ghost stories, husband, husbands, campfire story, campfire stories, scary story, scary stories, tale, tales, romance, seaside, departure, breakup, breakups, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, unhappy, split up, splits up, splitting up, couple, couples, miserable, misery, romance story, romance stories, longing, reversal, reversals
"I came to this country with nothing but the hair on my back."
Tags:hairy back, hairy backs, back hair, immigrant, immigrants, immigrant story, immigrant stories, immigrant tale, immigrant tales, poor, bootstraps, poverty, background, backgrounds, self-made, self-made man, self-made men, autobiography, autobiographies, biography, biographies, personal story, personal stories, rags-to-riches, tale, tales, american story, american stories, united state, usa, american, americans, personal grooming, manscape, manscapes, manscaping
'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself, while both Hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'
"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."
Tags:writer, writers, writing, author, authors, literature, manuscript, manuscripts, draft, drafts, publisher, publishers, publishing, editor, editors, publishing company, publishing companies, publishing house, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, tale, tales, story, stories, businessman, businessmen, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job hunting, job searching, job seeking, job seeker, job seekers, compliment, compliments, complimenting, rejection, rejected, office, offices, office life, experience, experiences, life story, biography, biographies, autobiography, autobiographies, career experience
Chicken little memorial
"Of course, my confessions probably aren't nearly as interesting as yours."
'Isn't that cute. She's writing her first novel.'
'No offense, but this sounds a lot like Obama's campaign promises.'
It ain't half Hoffman.
The knight and the dragon - My mind went blank.
Athletic clothes...shoes: 'What do you have for sitting on a wall?'
'Red? Wolf here. Say, any chance of me borrowing your riding hood Saturday night? Yeah, the red one.'
'I just know one of the kings brought gold, dear. I don't know if he bought it with his gold card.'
Tags:christmas, christmas, the christmas story, bed time, story, stories, tales, tale, the three wise men, gold, frankincense, myrrh, bedtime story, bedtime stories, shopping, credit card, credit cards, credit, gold card, gold cards, child, children, nitpicking, pedantic, questioning, inquisitive, odd line of questioning
'This is my forth time through the line - she can't tell us apart.'
'Tell us again, Grandpa, about the time you almost had Tarzan for lunch.'
'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'
'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'
'Uh-oh...Today is satuhday the 13th! Play it safe and stay away from Buttanut squash today.'
"Instead of doing jail time, I'm performing eighteen hundred hours of community service."
Tags:dutch, dutch boy, myth, myths, legend, legends, urban legend, urban legends, urban myth, urban myths, jail time, jail, jails, dam, dams, dyke, flood, flood prevention, prevention, flood gate, flood gates, flooding, community service, community, tale, tales, stories, story, crimes, criminal, criminals, services, service, hours, rescue, rescues, rescued, stand, standing in, visual gag, strange image, irony, ironic, region, regions, the netherlands, netherlands, regional, holland
Tags:demolition, demolitions, demolitions service, demolition services, demolish, demolished, monster, monsters, monstruous, beast, beasts, creature, creatures, house, houses, home, homes, hellish, hell, horror, horrors, horror story, tale, tales, creepy, scary, spooky, halloween, happy halloween, haunted, haunting, strange, surreal