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With summer vacation over, Mrs. Locke was having a tough time transitioning back into teaching.
'What do you mean he got a C-minus on his report! I was up all night writing that thing!'
'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'
The Origins of Everything
Tags:science, scientist, scientists, physics, physicist, physicists, cooking, cooked, doughnut theory, donut theory, souffle, souffles, cook, faux pas, big bang, universe, string theory, cosmology, cosmologist, cosmologists, origin, big bangs, big bang theory, theory, theories, sciences, teacher, teachers, taught, theatre, theater, despair, eternal, existential
"Let me know if I'm going too fast for you."
Tags:artist, artists, painting, paints, painted, artistic, art, arts, paint, apprenticeship, apprenticeships, teach, teaching, child, kid, kids, children, board, boards, writing, writers, writing, write, chalkboard, chalkboards, whiteboard, whiteboards, copy, copying, copies, copied, copier, teacher, teachers, taught, educate, educating, school, schools
'I have a very traditional approach to discipline.'
'I think your son shows aptitude for becoming a pollster. After each Math answer he writes 'plus or minus 10%.''
Tags:teacher, teachers, teaching, taught, math, maths, mathematics, test, tests, testing, tested, exam, exams, examination, examination, parent, parents, parents evening, report, reports, reporting, reported, inform, informs, informing, informed, pollster, pollsters, poll, polls, polling, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Stricken by a sudden case of laryngitis, Mrs. Gurtley switches to autoteacher.
"What is this endless series of meaningless experiences trying to teach me?"
In-Service Seminars for Teachers
Tags:teacher, teachers, teaching, teach, taught, school, schools, school teacher, school teachers, seminar, seminars, training, continuing education, education, educate, educating, self improvement, advice, nurture, nurturing, classroom, classrooms, classroom management, student, students, teacher life
"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."
Tags:mime, mimes, clown, clowns, circus, circus school, school, schools, teacher, teach, teaching, taught, teachers, class, classes, homework, work, working, study, studying, performance, perform, performing, performing arts, physical, physical theatre, tradition, traditional, theatre, theater, street theatre, street theater, well known, well known phrases, phrases, ironic, irony, pop culture, pop culture reference
'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'
Tags:teacher, teachers, teaching, taught, frog, frogs, dead, death, deaths, die, dies, dying, insurance, insurances, life insurance, malpractice, malpractices, assure, assures, assuring, assured, assurance, assurances, science, science, biology, biologies, dissection, dissections, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'If you can't teach an old dog new tricks, you should know you can't teach him to parallel park.'
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, dog, dogs, canine, canines, teach, teaches, teaching, taught, park, parks, parking, parked, parallel park, parallel parks, parallel parking, accident, accidents, crash, crashes, crashing, crashed, hit, hits, hitting, trick, tricks, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'
'I thought 60 was the new 40?'
'Did you know the moon is made from bananas?'
"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"
'I know you were elected class president...'
'Of course I forgot what I learned last year. I have to make room in my brain for the new stuff.'
'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'Vocabulary'?'
'Must you keep reminding me by wearing that shirt?'
Math story problem
'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'
'Yes, I downloaded my book report from the Internet, but I collated and stapled the pages all by myself.'
'I didn't have time to download my report and print it out. It's already paid for, so you can download it directly from Book Reports-R-Us.'