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'Relax, I'm from the IRS. Death and taxes have merged.'
'Mr Reynolds, you can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'
'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'
'But what if the chancellor refuses to cut your tax rate? Will you really take the business overseas?'
'Ron Choate, offshore tax haven consultant, speaking.'
Penny Saved, Penny Earned.
"As part of our 'customer care' policy I'm going to let you bring in the rest tomorrow."
'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'
'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'
'From January to May I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'
IRS: Short Form.
Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?
"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"
The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.
Tax consultant humour.
'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'
I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.
Tax Shelters of the Rich and Famous.
'Evasion is such an ugly term - we prefer to call it lunch bill 'planning'.'
'Sparby, I want you to go and taser everyone in the accounting department.'
'Oh no! It's VAT man!'
'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'
'You know Grace, these little glasses make it easy to spot all the hidden fees!'
"I wanted to pay my tax with a smile...but the inland revenue insisted I gave them cash."
"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"
Tags:irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, inland revenue, hm revenue and customs, tax, taxes, taxation, taxed, income tax, income taxes, tax audit, audit, audits, accountant, accounting, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, tax accountant, tax accountants, government, governments, government agency, government agencies, government employee, government employees, taxman, taxpayer, taxpayers, tax bill, tax bills, tax inspector, tax inspectors, tax return, tax returns, tax filing, tax filings, dramatic, being dramatic, overly dramatic, dramatics, drama queen, drama queens, overreaction, overreact, overreacting, overreacts, overact, overacting