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'Sorry, but under-the-table donations aren't tax deductible.'
"Your tax return...."
'Keep a stiff upper lip, Mr. Haskins. That's all you get to keep.'
'But on the bright side, I was able to find a loophole that should solve your little tax problem.'
"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"
Now that we've agreed on the loopholes, what should the tax laws be?
'Congress presented its report on simplifying the tax code today - it's 4,385 pages long.'
"He was weak with the flu to start with and then the initial shock of the new tax code did him in."
Tags:death, dead, flu, influenza, sick, sickness, ill, illness, weak, weakened, shock, shocks, shocking, tax code, tax codes, tax, taxes, doing taxes, money, finances, personal finances, tax law, tax laws, taxation, irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, internal revenue code, mourning, grieving, bereaved, widow, widows, politics, government, governments
'Just because I can explain the theory of relativity doesn't mean I understand the tax code.'
'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'
'Tax committee writes new 'simplified' tax code ... Which even an accountant can't understand?'
'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'
"I never should have taken on big clients."
"Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business."
Tags:cpa, cpas, certified public accountant, certified public accountants, tax code, tax codes, tax code reform, tax code reforms, simplify, simplifies, simplifying, fair tax, flat tax, accountant, accountants, accounting software, irs, internal revenue service, tax reform, tax reforms, tax simplification, accounting job, accounting jobs, accounting firm, accounting firms
'Does writing a $100,000,000 check to a GOP presidential candidate, for which I got nothing in return, count as a charitable contribution?'
"What triggered the audit? On your facebook page, you said you were a person of 'untold wealth'."
"Alden likes to look for satanic messages in the U.S. tax code."
"I knew I could put this pile of dollars to good use."
"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."
Statue of Liberty with tax codes
National Liberty and Tax Codes.
"You can count on two things in this life: tax code revisions and software updates."
Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.
'There are only ten commandments, but wait until you see the tax code!'