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'The IRS is here to bite the hand that feeds it.'
The 'Death Tax'
'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'
'Another scandal, and it could affect our popularity with the American public.'
'Keep a stiff upper lip, Mr. Haskins. That's all you get to keep.'
To err is human and subject to penalty
'Like the sign says...It's all THEIRS.'
Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.
'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'
PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'
'I'm sorry, but to lower your taxes you're going to have to make more money.'
'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'
'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, graduated tax.'
'Your repeated questioning as to whether I've been a 'good boy' has no relevance Mr Claus. I still need to see your accounts!'
'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'
'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''
'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'
'You may have fooled us last time, Mr. Chicken, but playing dead won't work this time.'
'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'
'This should be fun... this is my brother-in-law's tax return!'
Tags:revenue service, irs, taxes, tax return, tax returns, taxes, tax agents, irs office, brother-in-law, audit, irs audit, audit, auditing, vengeance, revenge, brother in law, brothers-in-law, brothers in law, inland revenue service, internal revenue service, audits, tax official, tax officials, tax inspector, tax inspectors
'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'
'Why's this cheque wet?' - 'I was crying when I wrote it.'
'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'
'I warned you - NEVER mention flat tax while Nelson is eating!'