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'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'
"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.
Tags:bogart, humphrey bogart, hold music, on hold, classic film, classic films, classic movie, classic movies, as time goes by, help line, help lines, tech support, automated, automation, sad song, sad songs, ex, exes, ex-lover, ex-lovers, jilted, sorrow, sorrowful, weakness, achilles heel, weaknesses
"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."
Tags:tech support, fathers day, father's day, gift, gifts, present, presents, technical support, holiday, holidays, young generation, younger generations, computer, computer whiz, computer whizzes, computer nerd, computer nerds, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, computer geek, computer geeks, son, sons, father, fathers, dad, dads
"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"
Tags:ob-gyn, ob-gyns, obstetrician, obstetricians, obstetrician-gynecologists, conceive, conceives, conceiving, conception, fertile, fertility, fertility treatment, fertility treatments, fertility doctor, fertility doctors, troubleshoot, troubleshoots, troubleshooting, tech support, technical support, support line, support lines, fix, fixes, fixing, pregnant, pregnancy, pregnancies, try for a baby, trying for a baby
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
Tags:automation, automated, big shot, big shots, status, statuses, separate status, separate statuses, complaint, complaints, complaints line, complaints lines, ordinary person, ordinary people, hotline, hotlines, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, preference, preferential treatment, unhelpful, bank, banks, banking, tech support, technical support, big bank, big banking, support line, support liens, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines
"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."
'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'
"What's that, girl? Timmy forgot his password?"
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, modern life, technology, password, passwords, computer, computers, account, accounts, forgot, forgot password, working dog, working dogs, rescue, rescuing, saving, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog training, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog trick, dog tricks, fetch, fetching, service dog, service dogs, help, aid, helpful, go for help, working animal, working animals, i.t., information technology, it, tech help, tech support
'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'
"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"
Tags:menu, menus, phone call, phone calls, automated, automation, automated, phone menu, phone menus, robot, robot call, robot caller, robot calling, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, tech support, infuriating, infuriate, infuriates, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, modern life, modern times, help, call for help, calling for help
"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"
"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."
'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'
'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'
'Tech support...I'd like to report a farmer in the dell!'
'We were going to get rid of the superbug but he's the only one who understands the new IT system.'
"Hold down control and shift and press escape."
I think that may have been one software revision and unnecessary upgrade too many for him.
Early tech support
After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!
The six stages of hard drive death and dying.
'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'
"I always thought there was no such thing as a stupid question. Then I tried to show Grampa how to use Facebook."
Tags:social media, social network, social networks, generation gap, generation gaps, computer skills, it skills, stupid question, siblings, bother, sister, tech support, grandpa, grandfather, grampa, grampie, gampies, elderly, senior citizens, computer, laptop, technophobe, savvy, computer whiz, seniors, computer literature, senior citizen, senior citizens
'Mom, when you need parenting help, do you call grandma for tech support?'