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"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."
Tags:butterfly, butterflies, insect, insects, phone, phones, support, support line, helpline, tech support, on hold, put on hold, life span, life spans, short life span, waste of time, wasting time, wait, waiting, awaiting, invaluable, hurrying, hurry, hurries, rush, rushes, rushing, impatient, impatience
"Go into Settings, Privacy, Activity Controls, Web Activity, Manage Activity, and deselect Giant Snake."
Tags:snake, snakes, giant snake, giant snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, phone, phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, mobile, mobiles, cell phone, cell phones, cell, cells, phone settings, phone setting, internet settings, internet setting, browset settings, browser setting, privacy setting, privacy settings, technology, new technology, bad with technology, tech support, it support
"Lassie, get tech support."
'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'
"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.
Tags:bogart, humphrey bogart, hold music, on hold, classic film, classic films, classic movie, classic movies, as time goes by, help line, help lines, tech support, automated, automation, sad song, sad songs, ex, exes, ex-lover, ex-lovers, jilted, sorrow, sorrowful, weakness, achilles heel, weaknesses
"Oops - I think I hit 'enter.'"
Tags:enter button, enter buttons, computer skill, computer skills, technical skill, technical skills, technical advances, computer problem, computer problems, tech support, technical support, computer issue, it support, computer geek, computer geeks, technical problem, technical problems, surreal, it department, tech department
"I've got tech support. I'm on hold for tech support translator."
"Can you show me how to turn off Dark mode?"
"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."
Tags:tech support, fathers day, father's day, gift, gifts, present, presents, technical support, holiday, holidays, young generation, younger generations, computer, computer whiz, computer whizzes, computer nerd, computer nerds, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, computer geek, computer geeks, son, sons, father, fathers, dad, dads
"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"
Tags:ob-gyn, ob-gyns, obstetrician, obstetricians, obstetrician-gynecologists, conceive, conceives, conceiving, conception, fertile, fertility, fertility treatment, fertility treatments, fertility doctor, fertility doctors, troubleshoot, troubleshoots, troubleshooting, tech support, technical support, support line, support lines, fix, fixes, fixing, pregnancy, pregnancies, try for a baby, trying for a baby
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
Tags:automation, automated, big shot, big shots, status, statuses, separate status, separate statuses, complaint, complaints, complaints line, complaints lines, ordinary person, ordinary people, hotline, hotlines, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, preference, preferential treatment, unhelpful, bank, banks, banking, tech support, technical support, big bank, big banking, support line, support liens, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines
"Can you make it purr when I pet it?"
"Maybe if I unplug it and plug it in again, it'll fix the mess."
"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."
"Yes, we know the system is down. Our technical people are working on it right now."
Tags:office, office worker, system, systems, computers, computer system, break, broke, broken, down, technical department, it, i.t., it department, tech support, technical support, it men, fix, fixing, magic, working their magic, wizard, wizards, sorcery, sorcerers, magician, magicians, conjure, conjuring, spiritual, potion, potion making, mantra, spell, spells, technical wizardry, computer wizard, problem solving, witch doctor, shaman, fortune teller, fortune tellers
'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'
"Sorry to bother you but I can't ask my son for computer help while he's in a in time out."
Tags:tech support, it support, it helpline, it helplines, computer help, help with computers, bad with technology, bad with computers, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, time out, discipline, son, sons, child, children, good with computers, child's play, children and technology
"What's that, girl? Timmy forgot his password?"
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, modern life, technology, password, passwords, computer, computers, account, accounts, forgot, forgot password, working dog, working dogs, rescue, rescuing, saving, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog training, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog trick, dog tricks, fetch, fetching, service dog, service dogs, help, aid, helpful, go for help, working animal, working animals, i.t., information technology, it, tech help, tech support
'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'
"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"
Tags:menu, menus, phone call, phone calls, automated, automation, automated, phone menu, phone menus, robot, robot call, robot caller, robot calling, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, tech support, infuriating, infuriate, infuriates, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, modern life, modern times, help, call for help, calling for help
"A man learns a great deal about himself when he's face to face with 49 minutes of tech support on-hold music."
"Have you tried doing the thing you just told me you tried?"
"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"
"If it's broke, buy a new one."