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'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'
"No, the computers are up. We're down."
"This is the Tech Support Hotline. I must inform you up front that I do not actually know how to use a computer."
"Hold on, while I connect you to 'ignore'."
"Hello, customer support? My server appears to be down."