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"Want to know how many steps we took?"
Tags:exercise tracker, exercise trackers, fitness tracker, fitness trackers, physical fitness, tech, techie, techies, technology, wearable, wearables, step, steps, step counter, step counters, counting steps, mountain, mountains, mountain climber, mountain climbers, exercise, exercises, exercising, pedometer, pedometers, irrelevant, irrelevance, summit, summits, peak, peaks, mountaintop, mountaintops, achievement, achievements, measure, measures, measurement, measurements, measuring
"I need a more interactive you."
Tags:technology, computer, computers, addicted, addict, addicts, addiction, internet, online, nerd, nerd, geek, geeks, techie, techies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, angry, upset, reality, interactive, communication, modern life
"There! I've deleted you from my database!"
"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
"Are you saying we're about to add a little peripheral to our systems?"
Tags:technology, computer, computers, computer system, computer systems, computer engineer, computer engineers, techie, techies, technician, technicians, it, i.t., information technology, peripheral, peripherals, family, families, starting a family, pregnancy, announcement, announcements, announcing, bun in the oven, mom-to-be, mum-to-be, dad-to-be, father-to-be, mother-to-be, parent-to-be, parents-to-be, lingo, jargon, metaphor, metaphors
"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."
"If your looking for something with a lot of memory, this baby right here will definitely fill the bill."
"No, I like it. I just don't see the point."
Tags:invention, inventions, wheel, inventor, inventors, inventing, complicated, needlessly complex, complex, complexity, pointless, useless, uselessness, pointlessness, worthless, overcomplicate, overcomplicating, overcomplicated, solution, solutions, solve a problem, solving a problem, problem solver, problem solvers, technology, technological solution, technological solutions, techie, techies, caveman, cavemen
"Bad news- some kid just created an app that creates apps."
Tags:app, apps, application, applications, program, programme, programming, programs, programmes, code, coding, codes, tech, technology, smartphone, smartphones, cell, cells, cellphone, cell phone, cellphones, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phones, mobile phone, software, softwares, obsolete, redundant, bot, bots, meta, automation, automated, fired, fire, techy, techie, programmer, silicon valley, upstarts, startup, startups
When rednecks and techies network.
'Though you didn't actually attack the victim, your endlessly droning on about technical stuff did bore him to death.'
'Data, data everywhere!'
"You've got computer-breath."
Tags:bad breath, halitosis, unhealthy, health, technology, computer, computers, addicted, addict, addicts, addiction, internet, online, nerd, nerd, geek, geeks, techie, techies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, modern life
After the introductin of Google street view Ed becomes the first casualty of Google Tonsils.
"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"
Tags:technology, computer, computers, addicted, addict, addicts, addiction, internet, online, megabyte, megabytes, nerd, nerd, geek, geeks, techie, techies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, angry, upset, wordplay, word play, play on words, modern life
Computer acronyms for rich people.
"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."
"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."
Acme-5000 Lie Detector
Tags:pants on fire, liar liar, lies, lie, lying, liars, lied, lie detector, tech, technology, machine, machinery, machines, truth, truthful, honest, honesty, tell the truth, investigate, investigation, investigates, interrogate, interrogation, interrogating, interrogates, lie-detector, lie detectors, lie-detectors, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, techie, teckie, tech
"I can guarantee it's the latest thing...until the next thing arrives."
Tags:latest thing, latest things, gadget, gadgets, new gadget, new gadgets, obsolete, obsolescence, planned obsolescence, latest gadget, latest gadgets, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, iteration, iterations, cell phone, cell phones, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, upgraded, new generation, new generations, techie, techies, gadget man, gadget men
"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."
Tags:bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, pub, pubs, modern technology, modern technologies, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, counsellor, counselling, counseling, counselors, counselers, bartender-psychologist, life problems, mental health problems, mental health problem, mental health disorder, software, software, software problems, commiserate, commiserating, complain, complaining, customer service, sympathise, sympathising, sympathize, sympathizing, techy, techie, it expert, it experts, millennial, millennials
"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."
Tags:present, presents, christmas, gift, gifts, birthday, birthdays, valentine, valentine's, valentines, valentine's day, valentines day, xmas, x-mas, expectation, expectations, disingenuous, tech, techie, techies, tech lover, tech lovers, sound system, sound systems, voice-activation, voice activation, voice activated, voice-activated, sock, socks, disappointment, disappointing, disappointed, disappoint, disappoints
"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"
"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."
Tags:connect, connects, connecting, connection, incompatible, compatibility, psychobabble, technobabble, techie, tech, tech lover, tech lovers, personable, date, dates, dating, single life, single, bad date, bad dates, no spark, talk past each other, talking past each other, impersonal, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, dinner date, dinner dates, blind date, blind dates
"These walks would be much more enjoyable if you stopped looking at your phone and watched where you were going."
Tags:phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, distraction, distractions, distracted, distracted driver, distracted drivers, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, techie, techies, modern life, modern times, walk the dog, walking the dog, dog, dogs, common sense, look where you're going, pay attention, paying attention, short attention span, short attention spans