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"Lassie, get tech support."
'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'
"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
'He's my smart due. He's going to hand around for a couple weeks, and teach me how to use my new smart phone.'
'Yarrr... I'll be needin' some tech support for me iPatch.'
"Oops - I think I hit 'enter.'"
Tags:enter button, enter buttons, computer skill, computer skills, technical skill, technical skills, technical advances, computer problem, computer problems, tech support, technical support, computer issue, it support, computer geek, computer geeks, technical problem, technical problems, surreal, it department, tech department
'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'
"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."
Tags:tech support, fathers day, father's day, gift, gifts, present, presents, technical support, holiday, holidays, young generation, younger generations, computer, computer whiz, computer whizzes, computer nerd, computer nerds, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, computer geek, computer geeks, son, sons, father, fathers, dad, dads
"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"
Tags:ob-gyn, ob-gyns, obstetrician, obstetricians, obstetrician-gynecologists, conceive, conceives, conceiving, conception, fertile, fertility, fertility treatment, fertility treatments, fertility doctor, fertility doctors, troubleshoot, troubleshoots, troubleshooting, tech support, technical support, support line, support lines, fix, fixes, fixing, pregnancy, pregnancies, try for a baby, trying for a baby
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
Tags:automation, automated, big shot, big shots, status, statuses, separate status, separate statuses, complaint, complaints, complaints line, complaints lines, ordinary person, ordinary people, hotline, hotlines, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, preference, preferential treatment, unhelpful, bank, banks, banking, tech support, technical support, big bank, big banking, support line, support liens, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines
'Downloading a white paper isn't just something that happens in the bathroom.'
"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."
Tags:bill, bills, paying bills, online bill, online bills, online, online account, online accounts, internet, net, web, computer, computers, elderly relative, elderly relatives, luddite, luddites, tech support, technical support, explaining the internet, old people and computers, old people on the internet, old people, old person, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, grandmothers, understand, don't understand
'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'
'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'
Early tech support
'Mom, when you need parenting help, do you call grandma for tech support?'
Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.
"What happens if you hit escape?"
Tags:escape, escapes, escaping, prisoner, prisoners, prison escape, prison escapes, computer trouble, computer troubles, esc, escape key, escape button, tech support, technical support, it support, i.t. support, laptop, laptops, laptop trouble, laptop troubles, troubleshoot, troubleshoots, troubleshooting
'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'
What you imagine everyone else's phone looks like.
'He's our Spam expert!'
Early tech support.
'I still haven't fired the guy in tech support. He's had me on hold all morning.'
'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'