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Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.
'I'm sorry... We seem to be having a problem with our teleprompter.'
'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'
'...and the outrageous thing is Obama has a teleprompter tell him what to say!...And we need more tax cuts for the rich!...And we need more tax cuts for the rich!'
"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."
"It wasn't a flip-flip. Someone hacked into my teleprompter and changed the script."
"Mr. President, we think you should get rid of your teleprompter and get a karaoke machine."
'He can't even learn how to use a teleprompter - maybe we could teach him to lip-synch.'
Pretty Soon: Increasingly dim TV newscasters will need help knowing what emotions to convey when they are 'reporting'.
'Tonight's first story starts with a great, big word that I can't read.'
"I'm speaking with you this evening without the benefit of speech-writers or teleprompters. Thank you and good night."
"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."
BLAME THE PROMPTER
"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."