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"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."
"Two 'Charlie roses' doesn't make you a Middle East scholar!"
Charlie Rose and his guest fall asleep during a recent taping.
"An excellent question, Sylvia, and I thank you for the opportunity to use 'whilst' in my response."
Today's Special Guest: Brundage Mornald, of Battle Creek, Montana. Under hypnosis, Mr. Mornald recovered long-buried memories of a perfectly normal, happy childhood.
"I just realized that everything he's been saying about the environment is right and everything I've been saying is wrong."
"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."
"Oh, definitely, I feel there's a reason I was given a second chance."
"The truth is I owe my good memory to ginkgo biloba."
"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"
'I always bark for no reason whatever.'
'This one is for plugging all our 'smart weapons' in T.V interviews, and downplaying our dumb foreign policy.'
'I don't know...Why don't you write and ask Larry King why he never TV interviewed the Bush's Scottish Terrier, Barney.'
'Since you became famous - er - oh, I'm sorry, your fifteen minutes are up.'
'I suppose you expect me to talk?'