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'I wish I had learned more trivia.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."
Tags:egg, eggs, boil, boiled, boiled egg, hard boiled, doctor, doctors, medicine, medical, live, to live, food, foods, humpty dumpty, humpty dumpty sat on a wall, nursery rhyme, rhyme, nursery rhymes, eat, eating, eats, medicines, prognosis, diagnosis, terminal, eggy, personified, through the looking glass, myths, myth, cook, cooking, cooked, cooks
I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.
Tags:kale, healthy food, healthy foods, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles, lifestyle, exercise, exercises, exercising, salad, salads, inevitable, inevitability, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, die, dies, dying, terminal, dietitian, dietitians, nutrition, nutritious, nutritiousness, greens, eat your greens, eating your greens, nutritionist, nutritionists
"We even tried a visit from a celebrity."
"If it's any consolation, he seemed like a bit of a jerk."
Tags:bad news, good news, death, dead, die, died, dying, doctor, doctors, bearer of bad news, be the bearer, communication, bedside, bedside manner, manners, jerk, jerks, surgeon, surgery, surgeons, terminal, lost him, hospital, hospitals, waiting room, waiting rooms, tact, tactless, tactful, no loss, no big deal, married, marriage, get well, get well soon
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"The good news is it's the size of a baseball."
Tags:tumour, tumours, tumor, tumors, baseball, baseballs, sport, sports, sportsman, sporting, base ball, the game, last inning, final inning, terminal, doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, good news, bad news, good news and bad news, apt, appropriate, hospital, hospitals, gallows humor, black humor, dark humor, gallows humour, black humour, dark humour, get well, get well soon
"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
Tags:early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life
"He's from Texas."
Tags:deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, religious, god, religions, religious imagery, hell, hellish, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, underworld, under world, under-world, hades, demon, horn, horns, horned, texas, texan, bigger in texas, do it big in texas, big, bigger is better, cowboy, cow boys, southern, southerners, deep south, region, regions, regional, south america, america
Tags:hospice, hospice care, hospice worker, hospice workers, palliative care, end of life, end of life care, free reign, given free reign, terminal, incurable, diagnosis, diagnoses, illness, illnesses, cancer, disease, diseases, live it up, living it up, freedom, freedoms, free up, frees up, freeing up, end of life, last days
"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."
Tags:deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, introducing, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduced, audience, applause, applaud, applauded, applauding, applauds
"We're hoping for an uptick."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed ridden, sick, sickness, ill, illness, serious, deathbed, death, hope, hoping, uptick, positive, optimist, optimists, optimism, black humour, black humor, dark humor, dark humour, terminal, stock, stocks, stock market, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trading, economy, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing
"His last word was the F-one."
Tags:swearing, swear, swears, expletive, expletives, famous last words, last word, last words, final words, deathbed, death, dead, died, dying, dies, terminal, surgeon, surgery, surgeons, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, bad news, bearer of bad news, be the bearer of bad news, censor, censored, bad word, bad words
"We're letting him think there's a big media deathwatch."
Tags:deathwatch, deathwatches, ego, ego-stroking, ego stroker, ego strokers, big up, big ups, bigging up, self-esteem, self-esteem boost, self-esteem booster, self-esteem boosters, deathbed, deathbeds, death bed, death beds, terminal, terminal condition, terminal conditions, sense of importance, importance, inflated, self-worth, egotist, egotists, egotistical, white lie, white lies, lie, liars, liar, good friend, good friends, public figure, public figures, minor celebrity, minor celebrities, status, social status, die, dies, dying
"The doctor didn't make it."
Tags:operate, operating, operation, operations, surgery, surgeon, surgeries, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, unhealthy, ill health, get well, get well soon, healthy, health, medical, medicine, medicines, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, healthcare, terminal, dark humor, reversal, role reversal, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gown
'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'
"My dying wish is that you all take off your clothes and get in bed with me."
'The bad news is you have only 4 minutes and 40 seconds to live. The good news is that's in 4th quarter football time.'
'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'
"You're not so much crying on the inside as severely hemorrhaging."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, death, dead, dying, die, dies, clown, clowns, sad clown, circus, carny, carnie, carnies, sick, sickness, ill, illness, healthy, health scare, get well, get well soon, terminal, terminally, examination, examining, consultant, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, hemorrhaging, hemorrhage, crying inside, smile, smiling, smiles
"It won't do you any good, but at least your survivors will think I tried."
Feeding Tubes Removed $50.
"I'm A Gigantic Starfish Endowed With The Gift Of Speech, Not A Miracle Worker."
'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'