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'Should I make a note of the fact that the witness has grown a Pinocchio nose, your honor?'
'Your honor, would you please instruct the witness to stop texting on his cell phone during my cross-examination!'
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and not in some sneaky relativistic way?"
Tags:truthteller, truthtellers, truthtelling, truth, truths, lawyer, lawyers, truth teller, truth tellers, swear in, swears in, swearing in, testify, testifies, testifying, testimony, testimonies, relativistic, technicality, technicalities, sneak, sneaks, sneaky, sneakiness, relative, relativistic, whole truth, whole truths, witness, witnesses, witnessing, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, suspicious, suspiciousness, suspicion, suspicions, paranoia, paranoid, second-guess, second-guesses, second-guessing, shrewd, careful
'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, judged, witness, witness', witnessed, oath, oaths, truth, lie, lies, liar, lying, lied, wife, wife, fat, looks fat, bailiff, trial, trials, on trial, promise, promised, promises, promising, testimony, testimonies, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I love my testimony. You've really captured my voice."
Tags:witness, witnesses, testimony, testimonies, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, witness testimony, witness testimonies, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, witness statement, witness statements, legal representative, legal representatives, writer, writers, writing skills
'The survival of this patient is a true testimony to the blessing of modern science.'
'Have you considered making your will?'
"Why don't we take a break? Your testimony is beginning to sound rehearsed."
Tags:testimony, testimonies, rehearse, rehearsed, rehearsal, rehearsals, practice, practices, practicing, practise, practises, practising, practiced, practised, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, break, breaks, take a break, taking a break, script, scripts, scripted, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, witness, witnesses, grand jury, grand juries
'Surely you don't expect the jury to believe that fairy tale, madam.'
"I believe this is nothing but a witch-hunt, Congressman."
Tags:witch hunt, witch hunts, witch-hunt, witch-hunts, witch hunting, witch-hunting, congressional hearing, congressional hearings, congress, congressmen, congressman, witchhunt, witchhunts, press, media frenzy, press frenzy, testimony, testimonies, media circus, discrimination, witch trial, witch trials
"I took aim, pulled the trigger, and then, suddenly, shots rang out."
Tags:court, courts, testimony, testimonial, testimonies, honest, honesty, court of law, lawyer, lawyers, legal, legality, legal system, court room, courtroom, judge, judges, judiciary, judicial, judicial system, gun violence, gun, guns, manslaughter, murder, testify, testifies, weak testimony, stand up in court, under oath, gun violence, criminal, criminal justice, criminals, red handed, red-handed, caught red handed, caught red-handed
"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."
'She left everything to her cats.'
"I want to change my testimony so it only contains the word: BAAAAAH!"
"We've run out of tapes. Do you think we'll ever want to watch Ollie North's testimony again?"
"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"
'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'
"We're going before the SUpreme Court in an hour, Ben. Would it kill you to sit on my lap?"
'In exchange for my testimony, they gave me a whole new identity - 00761.'
'OK, that's two triple bacon double cheese burgers with extra mayo. Would you like a will with that?'
'Oaths by witnesses are passé. Now we use truth serum.'
'I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ... almost.'
'My testimony is not the whole truth... but it is truthesque.'
"If you don't mind, Senator, I'd like to render the rest of my testimony sotto voce."
Tags:sotto voice, testimony, testify, testifies, testifying, testimonies, quiet, quietly, drama, dramatic effect, dramatic effects, senate hearing, senate hearings, senate, hearing, hearings, inquiry, inquiries, inquire, inquires, inquiring, washington, district of columbia, tension, tensions, actor, actors, acting
"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."
Tags:testimony, testimonies, witness, witnesses, prince, princes, princess, princesses, fable, fables, fairy tale, fairy tales, happily ever after, modern relationship, modern relationships, modern times, update, updates, updated, bedtime, bedtime story, bedtime stories, happy, happiness, key to happiness