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"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."
'I hate to bring this up, but doesn't that cactus look awfully familiar?'
The one that got away / A fisherman looses a catch which happens to be the number 1
Snowman trying to avoid melting.
'The trick is to get everybody so busy paying taxes that they don't have time to pay attention to politics.'
'And that, my friend, is the end of that!'
'Hold that thought -- I'll be back in 12 hours.'
"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."