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Social media in fairy tales
'Hey, wanna hear something interesting?'
"Have you seen the use-by date on this porridge?"
Goldilocks discovers Father Bear's recliner.
'Ten bucks says she serves porridge again.'
'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'
"Red Riding Hood had it easy. Those three bears dragged me through every court.."
'Same comments every year,,,why do we even enter'
"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."
Tags:the three bears, children's stories, childrens stories, children's story, childrens story, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, fable, tips, tipping, tipper, tippers, fables, tales, porridge, tip, gratuity, dining, restaurant, servers, waiters, waiter, server, three bears, fussy eater, fussy eaters, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers
'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'
Goldilocks's plan to try the same thing at the three panda's house backfires.
"She can keep the kid. He just wants visitation rights to, the porridge."
Tags:the three bears, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, bear, bears, grizzly, grizzlies, custody battle, custody battles, visitation right, visitation rights, family life, divorce, divorces, divorcing, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, porridge, goldilocks
"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."
'What do you mean; 'Who's been eating your porridge'?... I haven't made it yet!'
At the 'Goldilocks Hardware Emporium' Goldilocks are nails labeled 'Too Big,' 'Too Small' and 'Just Right.'
"Oh, fair do's mother.. after all she did eat his porridge."
'Blast that Goldilocks! Now your mother thinks she needs one of those fancy orthopaedic beds!'
'Blast this rise in girl crime!'
Mother Bear to Baby Bear: 'No more Goldliocks until you've finished your porridge!'
'How come we never have porridge?'
'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'
'She said we ought to have at least one portion of fresh fruit or vegetable with every meal.'
'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'
'She looks like someone who bears watching.'
'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'