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A bear steals maple syrup for his pancakes.
"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"
Tags:can opener, can openers, can, cans, pet, pets, cat, cats, hungry, dinner, dinners, eat, eats, eating, supper, suppers, cat lady, cat ladies, cat lover, cat lovers, feline, felines, cat person, cat people, thief, thieves, steal, steals, stealing, thieving, cat burglar, catburglar, cat burglars, catburglars, burgle, burgles, burgling
'Please look them over very carefully, Mr. Lamson, and let us know if you see the man who stole your identity.'
'Are you serious?! All you nabbed was a dollar?'
"This is an opportunity to simplify your life - don't blow it."
Tags:robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, burglar, burglars, burglary, burglaries, justification, justifications, justify, justifies, justifying, opportunity, opportunities, business opportunity, business opportunities, simplify, simplifies, simplifying, self-serving, altruism, altruist, altruists, consumerism, consumerist, material goods, thief, thieves, thieving, steal, steals, stealing, burgled
"'Alleged,' please, 'alleged.'"
Tags:criminal, criminals, caught, red-handed, steal, steals, stealing, thief, thieves, thieving, loot, bag of loot, bags of loot, alleged, allegation, allegations, innocent, innocence, protest, protests, protesting, guilt, guilty, prove, proves, proving, proven, act innocent, acting innocent, bank robber, bank robbers, accusation, accusations, due process, innocent until proven guilty, right, rights, legal rights
"My husband will be home any minute - quick, take the accordion!"
Tags:husband, wife, partner, spouse, husbands, wives, spouses, partners, robbery, rob, robbing, stealing, theft, thieving, complicit, helping, music, accordian, musician, annoying, loud, accordians, player, accordian player, players, annoys, annoy, help, helping, helper, selective, select, secret, peeve, pet peeve, secrets, secretive, frustration, frustrations
'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'
"Only thing he can't crack is why his wife would just up and leave."
Tags:crack up, cracks up, cracking up, safe, safes, safe cracker, safe crackers, divorce, divorces, divorces, criminal, criminals, career criminal, career criminals, thief, thieves, thieving, steal, steals, stealing, stolen, stolen goods, wife, wives, dumped, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up
'Everytime the lawyers tell their old jokes they end up arguing over copyright infringement.'
'They say that newspapers will disappear in 50 years...It's actually happening a lot sooner than that! Mine disappears every morning! I think it's my neighbour next door!'
"Henceforth, we steal from the rich and provide incentives to help the poor steal for themselves."
Tags:rich, riches, incentive, incentives, robin hood, thief, thieves, thieving, merry men, merry man, steal, steals, stealing, stolen, incentive, incentives, tax structure, tax structures, tax burden, tax burdens, overtax, overtaxed, overtaxing, help, helps, helping, help the poor, helps the poor, helping the poor, tax incentive, tax incentives, motivate, motivates, motivating, motivation
White collar crime.
'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'
"I don't suppose we could blame the theft of the three million dollars on kleptomania?"
Tags:thief, thieves, thieving, kleptomania, kleptomaniac, kleptomaniacs, steal, steals, stealing, scapegoat, scapegoats, assign blame, assigns blame, assigning blame, theft, thefts, excuse, excuses, personality disorder, personality disorders, embezzle, embezzles, embezzlement, kickback, kickbacks, corporate kickback, corporate kickbacks
3 Guys Stealing
Tags:moving van, moving vans, moving service, moving services, help, helps, helping, helper, helpers, criminal, criminals, logo, logos, calling card, calling cards, couch, couches, furniture, steal, steals, stolen, mover, movers, moving company, moving companies, thief, thieves, thieving, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, forthright, robber, robbers, robbery, robberies
"There's highway robbery."
"We take a very hands-off approach in management. Particularly when it comes to employee theft."
Woman on a baseball team called "Pirates" looks at the opposing team who is called "Carjackers".
Tags:sport, sports, baseball, baseball team, baseball teams, team, teams, team name, team names, player, players, baseball player, baseball players, athlete, athletes, jersey, jerseys, uniform, uniforms, team uniform, team uniforms, pirate, pirates, carjacker, carjackers, care theft, car thefts, criminal, criminals, thief, thieves, thieving, rob, robbers, robber, word play, wordplay
'Who's been at my pie chart?'
"Here, let me take that for you."
"Christmas is a time for giving....So I'd like you to give me all your money!"
'We like to play it safe.'
Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.
Tags:igor, frankenstein, dr. frankenstein, doctor frankenstein, assistant, assistants, doctor, iou, ious, i.o.u., i.o.u.s, i owe you, i owe you note, i owe you notes, iou note, iou notes, i.o.u. note, i.o.u. notes, debt, debts, indebted, steal, stealing, steals, brain, brains, stolen, thief, thieves, thieving, theft, robbery, robber, organ, organs, medicine, surgery, frankenstein's monster
'I had a pizza with extra sauce in the break room, but someone ate it. We're not leaving this room until I find out who it was.'