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"Does your car have any idea why my car pulled it over?"
Tags:electric car, electric cars, self-driving car, self-driving cars, pulled over, highway patrol, modern times, autonomous, autonomy, vehicle, vehicles, smart, intelligent, intelligence, robot, robots, artificial intelligence, ai, police, police car, police cars, ticket, tickets, moving violation, moving violations, speeding ticket, speeding tickets
"Start spreadin' the news . . . I'm leavin' today . . . "
Tags:cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, commute, commuter, commuting, commutes, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, farewell, goodbye, goodbyes, historical, fond farewell, modern, modern life, modernity, traffic, train, trains, subway, subways, metropolitan, train, trains, ticket, off peak, off peak ticket, off-peak, super off peak, offpeak, super off-peak, modernised, modernized, urban, urban life, urban world, urban living, band, bands, singing, mariachi, new york, new york city, musician, musical, musicians, region, regional, regions, poncho, ponchos, mexico, traditional, traditions, tradition, modern tradition
Curing Hemorrhoids Seminar
"Sorry, I had to pull you over, Professor. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
Tags:traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, ticket, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, traffic violation, professor, professors, teacher, teacher, lecturer, lecturers, teaching, student, students, going too fast, bad teacher, bad teachers, college, colleges, university, universities
Tags:subway series, baseball, baseball team, baseball teams, baseball season, baseball seasons, baseball game, baseball games, sports rivalry, sports rivalries, rivalry, rivalries, new york sports, new york sports teams, new york sports, subway, subways, ticket, tickets, ticket scalping, ticket scalper, ticket scalpers, markup, markups, scalper, scalping, scalpers, token, tokens, subway token, subway tokens, sketchy, ticket, tickets, ticket prices, ticket price, ticket re-selling, ticket re-sellers, ticket re-seller, new york city street, new york city streets, nyc, life in new york, new york life, sports fan, sports fans, sports games, sports, sport
"Saints preserve us! The boulevardier got another jaywalking ticket."
Tags:saints preserve us, god help us, saying, sayings, expression, expressions, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, plea, heavenly intervention, old age, old people, elderly, elder, elders, ageing, aging, retirement, retired, boulevardier, rich people, wealth, wealthy, rich, wealthy people, fashionable, socialite, socialites, men, man, woman, women, jaywalk, jaywalking, jaywalker, jaywalkers, ticket, traffic ticket, traffic law, traffic laws
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
A chicken and an egg racing to take a number to see which one of them will come first.
"You have to let me make my own mistakes."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, state trooper, state troopers, pulled over, traffic stop, traffic stops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, speeding, ticket, tickets, fine, fines, mistake, mistakes, independent, independence, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, children, life lesson, life lessons, learning, learning from mistakes
'For tax purposes. . . we can deduct our $7.00 dinners on our tax return. . . the food wasn't worth $7.00. . . they only gave me one scoop of corn.'
'No, he doesn't qualify for a child's ticket. . . or an adult one, either.'
"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."
"Flagless in a patriotic Zone?"
"Now let's try it again, pal. You got the money?"
Tags:hole punch, hole puncher, hole punchers, paper hole punch, paper hole puncher, paper, hole punchers, ticket collector, ticket collectors, ticket, tickets, extortion, extort, bully, bullying, mob, mobs, gang, gangs, threaten, threatening, crimes, criminal, criminals, in debt, debt, debtor, creditor, debtors, creditors, menace, menacing, intimidate, intimidation, intimidating, scare, scaring
"Excuse me, folks - could I see your tickets?"
"Tickets? Anyone? Need tickets?"
The Insanity Plea.
"Why did you think the round-trip tickets were only thirty-nine dollars a pop?"
Tags:vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, break, breaks, travel, traveling, traveler, travelers, travelling, traveller, travellers, trip, trips, tourism, tourist, tourists, beach, beaches, beach scene, beach scenes, beach vacation, beach vacations, beach holiday, beach holidays, ticket, tickets, round-trip, round trip, round-trip ticket, round-trip tickets, round trip ticket, round trip tickets, cheap, frugal, saving money, money, cost, costs, cutting costs, animal, animals, shark, sharks, seaside, seashore, relationship, relationships, relationship issue, relationship problems, couple, couples, married life, marriage, marriages, fight, fights, fighting, argument, argument, arguing, bad choice, bad choices, worst vacation, worst holiday, bad holiday, bad vacation, bad vacations, bad holidays
'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'
"Do you have any idea what color this car is sir? It's red."
Tags:red car, red cars, stop light, stop lights, stop signal, stop signals, traffic light, traffic lights, signal box, signal boxes, signal lights, traffic signal, stop light, stop lights, traffic cop, traffic cops, transport cop, transport cops, transport police, traffic police, ticket, tickets, violation, violations, traffic, speeding
"That wasn't me, officer. That was the liquor driving."
Tags:drink, drinks, drunk, drunks, alcoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcohol addict, alcohol addiction, alcohol addicts, drink drive, don't drink and drive, dont drink and drive, drunk driver, drunk drivers, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, traffic police, ticket, tickets, driving ticket, driving tickets, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, drive, driving, drivers, drivers, unsafe driver, unsafe drivers, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, pulled over, pull over, under influence, under the influence, driving under the influence, liquor, inebriated, inebriation
"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, pull over, ticket, tickets, fine, fines, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, driver, drivers, driving, drinking and driving, drunk, drunk driving, driving drunk, drink driving, don't drink and drive, dangerous, risky, party, parties, partying, college, university, student, students, freshman, freshmen, fresher, freshers, new student, new students, first year, first years, first year student, first year students, freshman year, rowdy, out of control, out-of-control, stress, excuse, excuses
"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, state trooper, state troopers, traffic cop, traffic cops, highway patrol, pulling over, pulled over, traffic stop, traffic stops, speeding, fine, fines, ticket, tickets, traffic violation, traffic violations, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, science, physics, speed of light, lightbulb, lightbulbs, light bulb, light bulbs, radar, space, time, speed, insurance, car insurance, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers
"No wonder we could get tickets."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, baggage, baggage hold, baggage holds, baggage area, luggage, luggage hold, luggage holds, luggage area, luggage handler, luggage handlers, baggage handler, baggage handlers, loading, cheap, frugal, saving money, budget travel, traveling on a budget, travelling on a budget, ticket, tickets, cheap airline, cheap airlines, cheap flight, cheap flights, budget airline, budget airlines, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, travel, tourism, economy, economy class