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"If you want to be rich, the first thing you have to learn is how to count."
Tags:modern life, modern world, business practice, big business, business man, businessman, business men, business men, capitalism, capitalist, profit, cash, money, greed, greedy, evolution, evolved, evolve, parent, parents, parenting, parental, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, new dad, new dads, advice, bad advice, kid, kids, child, children, teach, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, family, grandparent, grandparents, scrooge, tight, tight fisted, count, counting
Woman's Charity Box Is Marked 'Give', Business Man's Hat Is Marked 'Get'
Tags:charity, charities, charitable, giving, give, give generously, christmas, fundraiser, fundraising, fundraisers, volunteer, volunteers, profit, profiteer, profiteering, profits, business, big business, corporate, corporations, rat race, office drone, office drones, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, scrooge, tight, tight fisted, tight-fisted, all take, take, take and take, give and get, comment, critical, critique, class, class issues
"It hurts when I pay."
Tags:play on words, word play, word-play, freudian slip, freudian slips, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, examination, exam, examine, examined, hurt, hurts, it hurts when, where does it hurt, medical professional, check up, checkup, check-up, medicare, aca, affordable care, obamacare, insurance, health insurance, money, pay, paying, paid, payment, payments, expensive, expenses, cost, costs, costly, sound, sound joke, tight, tight fisted, scrooge, cheap, cheapskate
"Malcolm refuses to pay the extortionate fees for school photographs."
Say it with flowers
"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"
Tags:cowboys, cowboy, western, westerns, american west, saloons, drinking companion, drinking companions, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, cheapskate, cheapskates, miser, misers, wild west, old west, saloon, drinking, drinks round, fastest in the west, gunfighter, gunslinger, mean, tight, quick drawl, tight fisted, gunslingers, gunfighters
And if anyone wants to see me, search them first for sharp objects
'Are you sure 15 years married is Pot Noodle? I thought it was crystal.'
"... No, you're getting them mixed up. My first husband was idle and tight-fisted. This one's selfish and boring!"
Tags:marriage, couples, relationship, therapy, therapist, therapists, counseling, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, husband, husbands, wife, wives, marital problem, marital problems, relationship advice, ex-husband, husband, husbands, idle, tight-fisted, tight fisted, selfish, selfishness, tightfisted, cheapskate, cheapskates
'No interest again this month - must you take it out as soon as I put it in?'
'Something that gives the illusion of great generosity, without, you know, costing a lot.'
"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."
'The economy is tight and so is he.'
'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'
'After you. So courteous, he always lets me in first, so I have to buy the first round.'
'Mean? He's left handed and keeps his money in his right-hand pocket.'
'This invoice must be for you: one diamond bracelet $4.50.'
'Just think, Matilda, most other people are wallowing in debt.'
"Do you have a dollar menu?"
'This one's for the cheap b*****d who just tipped me a quarter.'
'I'll only put in 5p, I'm easily hurt!'
"Well, if you're not mean, why do you go about clutching your wallet?"
'I'll grant you, he's generous when it comes to giving...but when has he ever bought a round ?'
'When you say; 'All my worldly goods', that doesn't include my money does it?'