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"Suddenly, around January 15th, people become very tight fisted."
'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'
'Are you sure 15 years married is Pot Noodle? I thought it was crystal.'
"... No, you're getting them mixed up. My first husband was idle and tight-fisted. This one's selfish and boring!"
'Scrooge is out, I see.'
'Symes, in lieu of a raise, here's a copy of my newly published memoir.' (titled 'Confessions of a Tightwad').
'I'll only put in 5p, I'm easily hurt!'
"He's talking about you, you know."
'Think he'll ever spring for a bowl?'
'Well, I'll tell you one thing. He's retaining more than water. He hasn't given me a dime since Christmas!'
'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'
"No sir. I'm afraid we don't have a 'late bird' menu."