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"You're embarassed that you complained about my fee. Now we're making progress."
'With Lance I pay the whole check.'
'Great. My date is wearing a flea collar, and he's a tightwad.'
"Are these new belts for your car? I thought you were selling it."
"Check out Ralphie's car! It's soooo cool."
"Mr. Rod, are we getting a bonus this year?"
'I worked hard, made my millions. There's nothin left to do except give it away - but I'm too cheap!'
'Symes, in lieu of a raise, here's a copy of my newly published memoir.' (titled 'Confessions of a Tightwad').
'He's so tight he won't even buy the kids a new computer.'
The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'
"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"