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'Our defibrillator paddles are broken! Stick his hands in this toaster!'
The Adventures of Break-O-Man
"Here's to missing the big picture."
"You have brought sunshine to my life and now I must say good-bye."
Tags:gun, guns, pistol, pistols, colt, colts, shoot, shot, shoots, shooting, toaster, toasters, toasted, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, kitchenette, suicidal, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, dark, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dark humour, grim, grimdark, goodbye, goodbyes, death, dead, die, died, dying
"I'm in way over my head"
Tags:toaster, toasters, appliance, appliances, kitchen appliance, kitchen appliances, robot, robots, advanced technology, technology, tech, robotics, mechanical engineering, mechanical engineer, mechanical engineers, electronics engineering, electronics, electronics engineer, electronics engineers, computer engineering, computer, computers, computer engineers, computer engineer, engineer, engineers, computer science, nerds, in over your head, in over my head, sayings, expressions, outdated, outmoded, intelligence, intelligent, imposter, imposters, imposter syndrome, impostor, impostors, impostor syndrome, self-worth, self-esteem, outclassed
"I don't care if it's a charging station with wifi capabilities. I just want a toaster."
Tags:toaster, toasters, charging station, charging stations, wifi, wifi capability, wifi capabilities, technology, technologies, upgrades, upgrade, upgrading, upgraded, kitchen appliance, kitchen appliances, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, sales, retail store, appliance store, constant upgrades, simplicity, no more simplicity, confusing, confuses, confused, confuse, confusion, frustrate, frustration, frustrated, frustrating, frustrates, unnecessary features, unrequired features
Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!
Tags:milk toast, milk-toast, milk, milks, cow's milk, cows milk, unhealthy, sugar, sugars, butter, carbon, cancerous, new england, toasted, toaster, toasters, skull and crossbones, food, foods, fitness, fat, fatty, sugary, dangerous, danger, deadly, healthy, fitness, health, overreaction, overreacts, overreacting, satire, sarcastic, sarcasm
Toaster and Bread at the Park.
Tags:park, parks, toaster, toasters, sliced bread, sliced breads, toast, toasts, toasting, swing, swings, swing set, swing sets, playground, playgrounds, play ground, play grounds, play-ground, play-grounds, kid, kids, childhood, swinging, electrical appliance, electrical appliances, dad, dads, mom, moms, mum, mums
"Let's go for the four-slot toaster."
"Make a different wish- your bagel is really stuck."
Tags:genie, genies, genie in a lamp, magic lamp, magic lamps, aladdin, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, toaster, toasters, bagel, bagels, breakfast, breakfast time, breakfast bagel, breakfast bagels, wish, wishes, three wishes, 3 wishes, advice, good advice, mod con, mod cons, kitchen appliance, kitchen appliances
"The Toast Whisperer"
Tags:toast, toaster, toasters, toasted, food, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, kitchen, kitchen appliances, appliance, appliances, tech, technological, breakfast, breakfast food, morning, mornings, jam, jams, jelly, jellies, grape, grapes, raspberry, preserve, preserves, blueberry, blueberries, apple, apples, butter, butters, fruit, fruits, word play, play on words, whisperer, whisperers
Toast with faces popped up from toaster.
"I wanted a toaster."
Tags:toaster, toasters, cavemen, caveman, cavewomen, cavewoman, toast, kitchen appliance, kitchen appliances, electrical appliance, electrical appliances, toasts, fire, fires, prehistory, prehistoric, gift, gifts, present, presents, dissatisfied, cooking, early civilization, campfire, campfires, early civilisation, primitive civilisation, primitive civilization, nag, nags, nagging, nagged
"I'm from the future. You left the toaster on."
Tags:future, past, time travel, time travelling, time traveling, time traveller, time travellers, time traveler, time travelers, warning, warnings, prediction, predictions, predicting, appliance, appliances, electronics, toaster, toasters, left on, forgot to turn off, turn off, forgot, burnt, burned, fire, fires, house fire, house fires, smoke, toasted, meeting yourself, alter-ego, alter-egos, doppelganger, doppelgangers, twin, twins, future self, future-self, safety, fire safety
Bread flies past toasters.
"Are the kids asleep?"
Tags:toast, toaster, toasters, square eyes, square eyed, brain fried, brains friend, parents, parent, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, childhood, child, late night tv, late night television, adult television, the watershed, unsuitable tv, unsuitable television, late-night tv, late-night-television, good parenting, tv addict, tv addicts, tv addiction, television addict, television addicts, television addiction, tv, television, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, dark humour, black humour
White, rye, whole wheat or an English muffin.
"No, Tim, you're not crazy. You're special! You're a very special person, Tim. You have a magical, talking toaster, and that's what makes you special."
Why bread shrieks
'Hey French toast! My bread brothers! You wouldn't believe all the lies I've heard about you.'
Santa Claus gives a toaster to a piece of bread.
"The plan was to work out today, but now the toaster is taking so long that I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow."
Tags:toaster, toasters.breakfast, food, morning run, morning runs, morning exercise, morning exercises, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastinator, procrastinators, procrastination, procrastinating, procrastinated, excuse, excuses, excusing, excused, work out, works out, working out, worked out, reason, reasons, reasoned, reasoning, lazy, lethargic, daily exercise, daily exercises, unhealthy, healthy lifestyle
The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B