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"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."
Tags:display, displays, display model, display models, toilet, toilets, toilet seat, toilet seats, home furnishing, home furnishings, furnishing, furnishings, bathroom, bathrooms, showroom, showrooms, demo, demos, demonstration, demonstrations, demonstrate, demonstrates, demonstrating, display, displays, display purposes, inappropriate, use, uses, using, pooping, defecate, defecates, defecating, defecation
Og invents the port-a-potty.
"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"
"How did the lid get that way? Will it still work?"
"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"
"I don't suppose you know how to fix me a drink?"
Tags:dog, dogs, pet, toilet, toilet seat, drink, cocktail, beverage, bartender, on the rocks, scotch, vodka, whiskey, gin, rum, pets, toilets, drink from the toilet, drinking from the toilet, cocktails, beverages, bartenders, barhop, barhops, mixing drinks, mixed drinks, mixed drink, recipe, recipes, toilet seats, man's best friend, mans best friend
'Initial excavations suggest an ancient civilisation that was male-dominated.'
Bob took putting the seat down to a whole new level.
'How are you on toilet seats?'
The Eternal Consequence for Men Not Putting the Seat Down...
"Our $500- Pentagon toilet seats now made by Haliburton in Iraq for $800."
'It's a nice invention, but you left the seat up.'
"It's a smart toilet...after my husband uses it, the seat puts itself down!"
Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.
"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."
"The Quinceys are coming over. Better tighten up the toilet seat again."
'In dealing with her disobedient husband, Agnes finally had to resort to a 'choke tie'.
Tags:seat, seats, seating, seated, toilet seat, toilet seats, put the toilet seat down, toilet seat down, mistake, mistakes, repeat offender, repeat offenders, offend, offense, offending, mistaking, mistaken, seat down, disobedient, husband, husbands, wife, wives, last resort, choke, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I super-glued it.'
"When I die I want a closed casket funeral."
Tags:funeral arrangement, funeral arrangements, funeral, funerals, goldfish, goldfishes, gold-fishes, bowl, bowls, tank, tanks, aquarium, aquariums, closed casket, closed caskets, funeral, funerals, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, toilet seat, toilet seats, pet, pets, will, wills
'No, you can't have another flip phone. You always leave the lid up.'
'We just received this photo of a toilet from Curiosity. It appears the seat has been left up, providing more evidence that men are from Mars.'
'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'
"Did you put the seat up before drinking out of the toilet?"
"Some people lift you up, others put you down...get over it, that's life!"