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"His commute to work's been getting shorter."
'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'
"We're very worried about Huawei and exactly how to pronounce it."
Taxi driver says to long-suffering passenger: 'If times get any harder, I'll have to start charging for my witty and perceptive opinions on various topical issues of the day.'
'The Fed raised interest rates then lowered them then raise them again, just to keep everyone talking about the economy.'
'Still no sight of Flight MH370...'
Phil's Barber Shop - Today's topic: Religion, tomorrow: The Race Card.
Topical fish have a need to keep up with current events,
'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'
"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"