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'So, yeah! Take it home, look it over, and if anybody has any feedback my door is always open.'
"Just for the record, I knew you were naked before I ate the apple."
Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'
Tags:screenwriter, screenwriters, clerk, clerks, accuracy, accurate, accurateness, historian, historians, honest, honesty, entertainment, bible, bibles, torah, torahs, story, stories, old testament, entertainer, entertainers, exodus, red sea, miracle, miracles, teller, tellers, telling, non sequitur
'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'
'That's probably not a good sign.'
'Well, the weather was terrible, but the buffet was AMAZING!! They had EVERYTHING!!'
'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'
'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'
"Wait, I want to post a picture of our lunch."
Tags:lunch, lunches, apple, apples, tree of knowledge, foodie, foodies, food fad, food fads, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, mobile, mobiles, smartphone, smartphones, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, adam, eve, bible story, bible stories, old testament, torah, torahs, torah story, torah stories
Tags:seder, seders, passover, passovers, passover seder, judaism, jewish, jews, jew, torah, torahs, candy, candies, chocolate, chocolates, parody, parodying, alternative, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrates, celebrate, hebrew, feast, feasts, represent, represents, representing, symbol, symbols, symbolism, food, foods, religion, religions, home, family, families, shpasik, jtoons
Expulsion with Goody Bags
Tags:adam, eve, goody bags, party bag, party bags, goody bag, eden, garden of eden, genesis, expulsion, expelled, religion, religions, christian, christians, old testament, bible, bibles, torah, torahs, religious, party, parties, convention, conventions, promotion, promotional, promotions, promoting, promotes, advert, advertising, adverts, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements
The Eleventh and Least Effective Biblical Plague...
Crime Scene in the Garden of Eden
Tags:garden of eden, crime scene, crime scenes, paradise, crime-scene, crime-scenes, genesis, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, torah, torahs, old testament, bible, bibles, tree of knowledge, apple, the fall, adam, eve, book of genesis, serpent, serpents, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, eden
"And God called the light day."
Moses' Reading Glasses
God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.
Pesach crime scene.
'Ark, Noah - not arc!'
Jacob's first attempt at deceiving Isaac.
'Yeah, sure, a 'family outing'! I'm telling you, it's that time of year and he's eyeing my horns!'
The Encyclopedia of Job
'We're getting out of Egypt, and going to a nice peaceful place called 'Palestine.''
'Just try to collect.'
Look who's religious all of a sudden
'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'