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"Attention, please, Mr. Lyle Ferguson. As a result of equipment failure at the Cos Cob power station, your train will not be running at all tonight."
"Due to an incident at the Bergen Street station, everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same."
"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."
A train says 'Delays' while the board says 'On Time'
'When I started this journey I was a curate.'
"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."
Next Train 45 Minutes - 'Now the government is back in charge I'll take it with a pinch of salt.'
'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'
'Oh bloody hell, what's their excuse this time?'
Winslebury - An Area Of Outstandingly Irate Commuters
'The train arriving on platform seven is the 1969 Marrakesh Express.'
posting a flood insurance claim
'The next train will not take any obese people...thank you.'
"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"
'Strategic rail authority 10 year plan: buy a ticket, wait for the train.'