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'See how much easier it is when we all work together.'
'He's not finished his 'communicating with empathy' training.'
'Pass. Set. Facial...Good!...Pass. Set. Facial...awesome! Pass. Set. Facial...Perfect!...'
Poison Dart Training Camp.
'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'
'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'
'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'
'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'
'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'
"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"
"I only asked them to switch off their mobiles..."
'You now have an important role in the natural selection process - besides knowing how to treat, you have to decide who to treat.'
Start the session by doing something unusual.
'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'
'Ready to try out your new training?'
"Well I hope that gives you a flavour of what the work is about...any questions?"
'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'
Confessions may be recorded for evaluation and training purposes.
Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'
"You signed up yesterday!"
"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"
"I've a patient who needs a 'chat'...have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in a lighthearted, supportive but not disempowering manner' course?"
Tags:nurse, nursing skill, nursing skills, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, red tape, red-tape, skill, skills, on-the-job, on the job, training, training session, training sessions, nursing, patient care, patient-care, healthcare, health-care, verbal communication, verbal communications, customer service
'Next, go to the 'Guard' menu and select 'Bark.''
"I'll need all your client files up to date and you'll need to attend the 'managing paperclips safely' training on Thursday."
Tags:management training, management seminar, management seminars, management, managements, manager, managers, training session, training sessions, training seminar, training seminars, workload, workloads, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, paper pusher, paper pushers, paper-pusher, paper-pushers, red tape, red-tape