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'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'
"Your kidney is in a holding pattern over new jersey and should be here in two hours."
Tags:surgeon, surgeons, surgery, operation, operations, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, kidney, kidneys, transplant, transplants, donor, donors, organ donor, organ donors
"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."
Tags:transplant, transplants, organ transplant, organ transplants, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, role, roles, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, middle age, middle-aged women, sexism, audition, auditions, auditioning, glass ceiling, hollywood, age, ages, ageing, medical advice, good part, good parts, good role, good roles, older women
'We appreciate your concern, but as I've told you multiple times, Mr Turnip, youn just can't help us.'
Tags:turnip, turnips, medic, medics, vegetable, vegetables, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, nurse, nurses, healthcare, blood donation, blood donor, blood donors, give blood, transplant, transplants, operation, operations, emergency service, emergency services, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'They wanted to meet you. This is the family of 'Mongo,' the pig who donated the valve to you.'
'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'
'How's that kidney transplant going?... I need him back on the field - pronto!'
In 'n out lung transplant.
Tags:fatigue, run, running, runs, ran, runner, runners, marathon, marathons, tired, tiring, out of breath, breath, breathing, breathes, lung, lungs, transplant, transplants, transplanting, in n out, quick, quicker, refresh, refreshing, refreshed, going to extremes, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, sick, sickness, ill, illness, transplant, transplants, liver, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donor, organ donors, angry, anger, annoyed, annoying, big mouth, big mouth, talkative, offensive, insulting, loudmouth, loudmouths, rude, transplant list, transplant lists, dying, lost, ineligible, bias, prejudice, insensitive, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
Allosaurus in Wonderland
"Not much in the way of hard assets, I'm afraid, but he did leave some highly desirable organs."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, reading of the will, will, wills, testament, testaments, asset, assets, money, executor, executors, heir, heirs, beneficiary, beneficiaries, medicine, medical, organ, organs, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, transplant, transplants, desirable, death, probate, estate, estates, inheritance
"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."
'I see you've listed your assets as totaling 100,000, but that's based on counting the street value of your organs,'
'We couldn't find a donor heart, so we implanted 13 chipmunk hearts.'
"Most emphatic rejection of foreign tissue I've ever seen!"
Tags:foreign body, foreign bodies, foreign tissue, transplant, transplants, transplanting, surgery, surgeries, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, organ donations, rejection, rejections, rejecting, eject, ejects, ejection, ejections, ejecting, surgeon, surgeons, operating room, operating rooms, operation, operations
"I always wondered who got my transplant."
Tags:transplant, transplants, head, heads, body, bodies, organ, organs, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, meet cute, meets cute, meeting cute, head, heads, disembody, disembodied, cocktail party, cocktail parties, donor, donors, swap, swaps, swapping, body swap, body swaps, body swapping, switch, switches, switching
'The uterus transplant was a success. I'm sure you'll find your husband much more understanding now.'
'What did you think we meant by 'organ donor program?''
'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'
"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."
Tags:surgeon, surgeons, surgery, operate, operation, operations, organ, organs, transplant, transplants, organ donor, organ donors, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians
'Don't you hate it when there are parts left over?'
"The transplant was successful, and he's resting comfortably in a bed on the south side of the hospital."
As women age, sex toy parties become cosmetic parties, then kitchenware, and finally...
'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'
"I'd say you're in great shape... in fact, you've got the heart of a 20 year old!'
Tags:literal, literally, healthy heart, transplant, doctor, doctor's office, frankenstein, frankenstein's monster, mary shelley, check up, medical, health, peak fitness, physical fitness, fit, fitness, monster, heart, healthy, absurd, absurdity, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups